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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25539409">dark and light (a silver lining in-between)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonbagel/pseuds/dragonbagel'>dragonbagel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gimme shelter [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(bc zuko), Angst, Coming Out, Episode: s03e14-15 The Boiling Rock, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Zuko (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), this is zuko and his feelings that shit do be hurting, yes ive watched it 4 times this month what about it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:28:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,762</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25539409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonbagel/pseuds/dragonbagel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko wishes he could say his intentions were good. He wishes that he’d told Sokka about the Boiling Rock in a sense of comradery, and that he’d volunteered on this suicide mission because it was simply the right thing to do.</p><p>But he’s learned, over time, that he’s a selfish creature; it’s in his nature. He always wants what he can’t have—and this time is no different.</p><p>or: zuko helps stage a prison break and pines over a certain water tribe boy</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jet/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki &amp; Zuko (Avatar), aka an important friendship that needs more love, also referenced:</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gimme shelter [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867984</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1728</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. that’s rough, buddy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>as someone wise once said, “do you think a depressed person could make this? no.”</p><p>mostly canon-compliant (for now), thanks to atla for giving me some dialogue &amp; also envisioning a universe where a violent world power has somehow advanced beyond a gendered prison system</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As with all of the impulsive decisions he’s made in his seventeen years of life, Zuko wishes he could say he had good intentions.</p><p>But he’s learned, over time, that he’s a selfish creature by nature. He always wants what he can’t have—his father’s approval, his sister’s talent, a single sliver of his nonexistent honor. He’d wanted to capture the Avatar, and that had gotten his ass kicked across the globe. He’d wanted to return to his life as Crown Prince, and then stormed out weeks later with the aftershocks of his father’s lightning bouncing around in his veins. He’d wanted to make his uncle proud, and he hadn’t even been able to break him out of the jail that he’d gotten him stuck in in the first place.</p><p>And now...and now, once again, he wants something he knows in his heart of hearts that he simply cannot have; something that he shouldn’t even want in the first place.</p><p>Some<em>one. </em></p><p>So yes, Zuko wishes he could say his intentions are good. He wishes that he’d told Sokka about the Boiling Rock in a sense of comradery, and that he’d volunteered on this suicide mission because it was simply the right thing to do.</p><p>But Zuko, it seems, never learns. He’s lost and regained his honor so many times he’s not sure he even had it to begin with. And this time? This time is no different. He’s still seeking affection that he doesn’t deserve, knowing full well that there isn’t a light waiting for him at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>He wants, he tries, he fails, and he gets hurt; that’s how it’s always gone, and that’s how it will always go. He refuses to let himself get his hopes up, because he knows, he <em> knows </em>how this ends, and he probably deserves it for all the shit he’s done.</p><p>He can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, getting hurt by Sokka is better than nothing at all.</p>
<hr/><p>Sokka is the first to break the silence on the war balloon, and Zuko really, <em> really </em>wishes he hadn’t.</p><p>“Pretty clouds.”</p><p>Zuko blinks. What the hell is he supposed to say to that? And why is Sokka staring at him? Do they not practice the virtue of peace and quiet on that flying bison?</p><p>“Yeah...fluffy,” Zuko eventually replies, turning back to the tank of flames he’s tending to. He shoots another one in, more out of awkwardness than necessity. Spirits know he’s not cut out for this whole “small talk” thing.</p><p>Sokka whistles, and Zuko frowns. “What?”</p><p>“What? Oh, I didn't say anything.” He’s quiet for a moment, and Zuko thinks that maybe, <em> just maybe </em>, he can survive this journey without an insurmountable headache.</p><p>“You know, a friend of mine actually designed these war balloons.”</p><p>Nevermind.</p><p>“No kidding?”</p><p>“Yep, a balloon...but for war.”</p><p>Agni, was this what it felt like talking to him? How did Uncle survive these stilted conversations for <em> three years?</em></p><p>Besides, in all the time since he’s met Sokka, he’s never heard him sound this nervous—not even when Zuko had rolled up to his doorstep and threatened his entire village (which, yeah, not Zuko’s best moment).</p><p>Maybe the awkwardness came from the newness of their friendship. Maybe he just wasn’t totally comfortable around the guy who once, as previously mentioned, <em> threatened his entire village.</em></p><p>Or maybe it’s because Sokka wants to be something other than friends. Maybe he also feels that flutter in his stomach when they’re near one another, or hears his heart trying to escape his chest cavity when they spar for reasons other than wartime calisthenics. Maybe he—</p><p>No. Maybe he <em> nothing. </em> Zuko knows these thoughts, this <em> part of him, </em>is traitorous. He’s good at squashing them down, smothering them in the flames that live just beneath his skin.</p><p>“If there's one thing my dad's good at,” he finally manages to bite out, “it's war.”</p><p>“Yeah, it seems to run in the family.”</p><p>Zuko jerks his head up at that to see that, <em> wonderful, </em> Sokka’s <em> still </em> looking at him <em> . </em> He can’t help but flush, and tries to convince himself it’s due to anger.</p><p>“Hey, hold on,” he says. “Not everyone in my family is like that.”</p><p>Sokka holds his hands up in innocence. “I know, I know, you've changed.”</p><p>Zuko looks down at the floor, at the shoes worth more than all the clothes he and Uncle owned combined during their time as refugees.</p><p>“I meant my uncle. He was more of a father to me.” Zuko pauses, frowning. “And I really let him down.”</p><p>He stiffens as Sokka rests his hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. “I think your uncle would be proud of you. Leaving your home to come help us? That's hard.”</p><p>Zuko stares at him, at those deep blue eyes that he could get lost in and never want to leave. He swallows, mouth suddenly bone dry. “It wasn't that hard.”</p><p>Sokka pulls back, eyebrows raised. Zuko tries to convince himself he doesn’t miss the contact. “Really? You didn't leave behind anyone you cared about?”</p><p>A part of Zuko wants to tell the truth. He wants to say no, not really. He wants to say that his thoughts have been preoccupied with <em> Sokka </em> every day since leaving Ba Sing Se, and that he brought those traitorous, traitorous desires back home with him.</p><p>But he’d promised himself, the second he felt those...<em> feelings</em>, that Sokka could never, <em> ever </em>know, especially now that he was actually part of Team Avatar. It wasn’t like there were any other firebenders lining up to commit treason and train Aang.</p><p>(It wasn’t like Zuko had any other friends left waiting for him.)</p><p>“Well, I did have a girlfriend. Mai.” The words hurt coming out, and he has to actively force his face to remain neutral.</p><p>Sokka smirks, and Zuko’s stomach definitely doesn’t flip. (<em>At all</em>.) “That gloomy girl who sighs a lot?”</p><p>“Yeah.” He tries for a smile, though it quickly falls. “Everyone in the Fire Nation thinks I'm a traitor. I couldn't drag her into it.”</p><p>This part, at least, is true; because he still cares about Mai, even if he hasn’t liked her as more than a friend in years. (<em>Maybe he never did.</em>)</p><p>“My first girlfriend turned into the moon.”</p><p>Zuko’s mind fritzes into overdrive, half stuck in a confused loop of <em> what the actual fuck? </em> and half in a self-destructive reminder that <em>see, Sokka’s straight, give it up!</em></p><p>The only words that manage to escape the jumble in his brain are, “That’s rough, buddy.”</p><p>Yeah, he hates himself sometimes, too.</p>
<hr/><p>The plan was stupid.</p><p>He’d agreed to it, of course, because he craved any smidgen of happiness from Sokka, but it was stupid nonetheless. </p><p>In the course of an hour, he’d managed to lose Sokka, thoroughly embarrass himself in front of an entire breakroom of guards, and nearly blow his cover multiple times. Then, to top it all off, it turned out that Sokka’s father wasn’t even <em> there. </em></p><p>Zuko knows with utmost certainty that they’re going to get caught. He knows it like he knows the sky is blue, and his sister is a nutcase, and the Avatar should probably start reaching out to whoever the hell Jeong-Jeong is because there’s no situation in which Zuko gets out of this <em> not </em>in chains.</p><p>(If the Spirits are kind, Sokka will make it out unscathed. If the Spirits are kind, it will only be Zuko’s corpse sent back to the Caldera to be paraded through the streets.)</p><p>(<em>Your sister was born lucky, and you were lucky to be born.) </em></p><p>(Unfortunately, the Spirits have never held Zuko in very high regard.)</p>
<hr/><p>Zuko paces the balcony, staring out at the sea of maroon in the yard. So many prisoners, and yet not <em> one </em>of them is Sokka’s dad? Maybe the guards had lied about the lack of Water Tribe inmates. If he could just find Sokka, they could play a twisted game of I-Spy and be on their merry way. (After they somehow formulate an escape plan, of course.)</p><p>Another guard emerges from inside the tower, and Zuko cautiously approaches. “Hey there, fellow guard, how goes it?”</p><p>There’s a moment of silence, and Zuko has just enough time to think about how he’d singlehandedly managed to fuck the whole plan up before the guard is lifting the visor of their helmet to reveal a face that Zuko <em> definitely </em>doesn’t see in his dreams.</p><p>“Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko is quick to shush him, glancing around to make sure no one heard him. “Do you want to get us caught? Because screaming the name of the <em> traitor Crown Prince </em>is one hell of a way to do it.”</p><p>Sokka visibly deflates, and Zuko feels a pang of guilt. What he says next only serves to make him feel worse. “Listen, I asked around the lounge. There are no Water Tribe prisoners. I’m afraid your father’s not here.”</p><p>There’s no mistaking the sheer devastation in Sokka’s eyes, and Zuko removes his own visor to offer what he hopes is a look of apology. (It’s not easy, what with half his face hardened into a permanent scowl.)</p><p>“What? Are you sure, did you double-check?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko says softly. “I’m sure.”</p><p>Sokka bites his lip, face scrunching up, before whirling around and banging his fist against the wall. “Fuck!”</p><p>“I’m really sorry, Sokka.”</p><p>He wants to put his hand on Sokka’s shoulder, to give him that same comfort he’d extended to Zuko on the now-sunken war balloon.</p><p>“So we came all this way for nothing?” Sokka sighs, pressing his forehead against the wall. “I failed...again.”</p><p>Zuko takes a hesitant step forward. He’s close enough to touch Sokka; his arm trembles as he holds it out.</p><p>“Listen, I…” The words die in Zuko’s throat the second Sokka’s gaze lands on him. He feels pinned to the spot, like he’s going to be cut up and picked apart piece by piece. (He thinks his heart may explode before Sokka’s eyes even manage to bore into it.)</p><p>Then Sokka blinks, and Zuko realizes with a rush of embarrassment that he’s standing there, staring at his <em> friend</em>, with his arm out like an idiot. He quickly folds it behind his back, adopting the military posture he wears like a second skin.</p><p>He racks his brain for something smart to say, maybe one of Uncle’s proverbs. They may be ridiculous, but even an extended metaphor about tea is better than admitting to his friend, his <em> very straight and uninterested friend,</em> that he was thinking about what his lips might feel like.</p><p>“Maybe we haven’t failed after all!”</p><p>Zuko turns to see Sokka rush towards the railing, grinning. Did Uncle’s sayings have psychic powers or something?</p><p>“Look!” Sokka says, pointing into the yard. “It’s Suki!”</p><p>Zuko squints, trying to parse out anyone even remotely familiar in the mess of inmates. “Who?”</p><p>“You know, Suki,” Sokka repeats, as if that helps. “Head of the Kyoshi Warriors.”</p><p>He pantomimes opening a fan, and Zuko realizes with a sinking feeling that if he has met this girl, they were definitely not on good terms.</p><p>“She kissed me,” Sokka says with a dreamy sigh, leaning onto his elbows. “Right before we left. Because, you know, you were chasing us.”</p><p>“Uh, sorry.” He hopes it sounds sincere, or at least not like he’s currently wishing he’d chased Team Avatar off even sooner. “You should go talk to her.”</p><p>The words taste like shards of glass on his tongue, but the smile Sokka gives him is almost worth it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. imposter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It’s undeniable: the Spirits hate Zuko.</p><p>or: zuko gets his cover blown</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>starting to diverge from canon, we’ll see how this goes</p><p>warnings for violence, referenced (canon) abuse, brief allusions to implied (non-explicit) sexual/intimate relationship</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s undeniable: the Spirits hate Zuko. If his clusterfuck of an existence wasn’t already evidence enough, this particular instance of cosmically shitty luck was thoroughly damning all on its own. Because, really, how the hell did he end up standing guard for his embarrassing crush while said embarrassing crush reunites with his girlfriend? Not to mention, of course, that the reunion just so happened to be taking place in a maximum security prison owned by a nation that would love nothing more than Zuko’s head on a stake.</p><p>But Zuko, traitorous, ex-Crown Prince Zuko, just <em> has </em>to be in love with his enemy-turned-friend. Azula’s right: he always has been too soft for his own good.</p><p>And now, it seems, that his stupidly oversized heart is about to get his cover blown.</p><p>He can’t hear much of Sokka and Suki’s whispered conversation (and, honestly, he’s trying his best <em> not </em>to), but he hopes they can hear his panicked hiss that “a fucking guard is coming over, wrap it up!”</p><p>He bangs his fist against the door for good measure, hoping the guard ascending the nearby stairs doesn’t notice. (The sound, of course, echoes horribly.)</p><p>He folds his arms behind his back as the guard nears him, praying to Agni that she keeps walking. He gives her a curt nod, as if to say, “nothing to see here, keep moving, please don’t arrest me.”</p><p>“Excuse me. I need to get into that cell.”</p><p>The Spirits must be laughing at him.</p><p>“No, you can’t go in there!”</p><p>The guard frowns at Zuko, and he fumbles for an excuse. “The...lights are out! Yeah, the lights are out! The prisoner could sneak up on you.”</p><p>He points to the sliver of darkness visible from the slit in the door.</p><p>The guard raises her brow, reaching an arm out as if to shove him out of the way. “Step aside, fool.”</p><p>Zuko, doing what he does best, panics and resorts to violence.</p><p>He grabs onto the guard’s arm, wrenching it behind her back and using the momentum to spin her into the wall.</p><p>“Hey, what the hell?” she grunts, bucking against him and shoving her elbow into his gut.</p><p>He loosens his grip on her as he doubles over in pain, and she whirls around to land an impressively solid punch to his jaw, strong enough to send him reeling despite the protection of his helmet.</p><p>He curses, then advances on her again. He just needs to distract her long enough for Sokka to escape, and if that involves a few bruises, so be it.</p><p>Apparently he’s gotten too used to bending, because his hand-to-hand combat skills are passable at best. He longs for his swords, or really anything other than unwrapped knuckles and a bulky helmet obscuring his already limited vision.</p><p>The guard catches him as he lunges at her, latching onto his arms and slamming him into the wall. Forget what he said about the helmet—without it, that would’ve definitely broken his nose.</p><p>He manages to shunt her off of him and push her face-first onto the floor. He winces at the clanging sound of her helmeted face hitting the ground, but it luckily manages to mask the creaking door hinges as Sokka finally creeps out of the cell.</p><p>His distraction costs him: in one fluid motion, the guard jumps back to her feet, grabs his shoulders, and snaps her knee up into his groin.</p><p>Zuko wheezes, breath knocked out of his lungs. He hears the guard yelling for help, accusing him of being an imposter.</p><p>“Arrest him!” she shouts, ramming him into the wall again. “Get him off of me and arrest him!”</p><p>He bounces at the impact, falling to his knees as the force of the collision echoes through his helmet. There’s another pair of hands on him now, hauling him to his feet far more gently than any guard worth their pay would ever deign acceptable.</p><p><em> Sokka, </em>he thinks, brain sluggish. His ears are ringing even worse than the ever-present tinnitus on his left side. He feels dazed, unbalanced.</p><p>The feeling only worsens as his helmet is ripped off his head, flooding his vision with way more light than the visor allowed. He squints, trying to blink away the spots of color dancing behind his functional eye.</p><p>When he finally manages to open his eyes all the way, it’s to the guard staring at him, her visor flipped up. Her gaze is trained on the left half of his face, a downright predatory grin settling over her features.</p><p>“I don’t believe it,” she breathes, dropping the helmet in favor of clutching his face between her hands.</p><p>He tries to jerk away, but Sokka’s grip on his arms doesn’t waver. He only succeeds in getting even closer to the body at his back, Sokka’s typically relaxed frame tight with unease.</p><p>The guard’s uneven nails dig into him, and he shudders as her hot breath ghosts over his skin. For a moment, all he sees in her golden eyes is his father.</p><p>“Hey, newbie,” she says, forcing Zuko’s head to the left so that his scar is on full display for Sokka.  “Looks like we got ourselves a traitor.”</p><p>Sokka doesn’t respond, and the guard wrenches Zuko’s face back towards her. “How does it feel, betraying your country? Huh?”</p><p>Zuko shrinks back, his neck cramping something fierce. He sags slightly as the hands leave his face—no doubt leaving crescent marks in his already fucked-up skin—but recoils as she rears back and backhands him across the cheek. Sokka’s hands clench around his wrists, and Zuko forces himself to take a steadying breath.</p><p>“The Fire Nation is wrong,” he says, gritting his teeth. “I’m trying to help people!”</p><p>The guard huffs out a caustic laugh. “That’s fucking rich.”</p><p>“The war needs to end. Our nation has lost its honor!” Zuko knows he should stop talking, just like he knows the punch to his already bruised jaw is coming before a fist is even raised.</p><p>He feels his lip split on impact, sees a smattering of his blood on the guard’s knuckles. She spits in his face, right over the deadened skin of his scar. “What do you know of honor, you little brat?”</p><p>Zuko can’t help his flinch.</p><p>“Hey,” Sokka cuts in, voice shaky. “Shouldn’t we be, you know, <em> arresting </em>him?”</p><p>The guard looks ready to snap at him, but quickly schools her features. “Of course.”</p><p>He tries to focus on Sokka’s grip as he’s led, stumbling, down the hall, the other guard leading the way. He keeps his head down, praying that nobody notices him.</p><p>In an unexpected stroke of luck, most of the prisoners, much like Suki, are in their cells, and pay him no mind as he’s paraded towards the warden’s office. Once they reach it, their escort orders Sokka to release Zuko so that she can slap a pair of manacles around his wrists.</p><p>He tries to pretend he doesn’t miss the warmth of Sokka’s hands.</p><p>“You,” she says, pointing to Sokka. “Watch him until the warden is ready.”</p><p>Sokka nods, and Zuko is shoved none too gently back towards him.</p><p>“And <em> you</em>,” she says, rounding on him with a sneer, “better start praying the warden doesn’t give you another scar to match.”</p><p>Zuko swallows.</p><p>“He’s always admired the Fire Lord’s work.”</p><p>She laughs; Zuko can barely hear it over the static filling his brain. He feels numb. He feels like he’s on fire. He feels like he’s on his knees and begging and <em> burning</em>—</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>That’s Sokka’s voice, now, soft in his ear. He stands to his right, hands gently splayed on his shoulders. Zuko tries to latch onto the sensation.</p><p>“She’s gone now, okay? It’s just you and me, now, buddy.”</p><p>Zuko nods shakily, the panic slowly receding from the corners of his vision. He’s dimly aware that he’s crying, and he tries to raise his shoulder to wipe his tears. Even he knows it looks pitiful.</p><p>“Let me,” Sokka says softly, slowly raising his hand.</p><p>Zuko forces past his instinctual flinch, closing his eyes as Sokka’s fingers brush against his skin. He tries to focus on the callouses slowly moving across his cheeks, at the featherlight pressure barely tangible over the frayed nerve endings of his scar.</p><p>He may be imagining it, but it feels like Sokka’s touch lingers.</p><p>It’s only when Sokka pulls back that Zuko opens his eyes, watching Sokka dry his hand off on the cloth of his uniform.</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that,” he says, gaze softening as Sokka’s eyes meet his.</p><p>“‘course I did,” Sokka replies, offering him a small smile. </p><p>It’s only then that Zuko realizes, “Oh, fucking Spirits, you touched her spit.”</p><p>Sokka shudders. “Gee, thanks for the reminder.”</p><p>His face falls into an easy smile, and Zuko feels some of the tension bleed out of his body.</p><p>“So, what she said about your dad…”</p><p>Aaaaand the tension’s back.</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>He hopes the glare he levels Sokka with is enough to get him to drop it.</p><p>“Right…” Sokka says, trailing off.</p><p>He keeps not-so-subtly sneaking glances at his scar, and Zuko is just so unbelievably tired of it. Maybe that’s why he says, none too kindly, “I hope your chat with your girlfriend was worth it.”</p><p>Sokka frowns, and Zuko tries to pretend it doesn’t wrench his guts. “She’s not my girlfriend. And we were strategizing about the, uh…” he leans in closer, eyes flicking over the other guards in the vicinity, and whispers, “escape.”</p><p>“What do you mean, she’s not your girlfriend?” There’s something traitorous in his chest, even worse than the brand on his face: hope. </p><p>Sokka shrugs. “I guess she met someone else.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Zuko says, hating the dejected look on Sokka’s face.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Sokka sighs. “From what she told me, he sounds like a good guy.”</p><p>“<em>You’re </em>a good guy,” Zuko replies, still having trouble processing the fact that someone actually rejected Sokka.</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Sokka says, his usual self-assuredness bleeding back into his voice. “She showed me a picture of him, actually. He’s not <em> nearly </em>as pretty as me.”</p><p>Zuko snorts. “No one is.”</p><p>He flushes the moment the words are out of his mouth, and prays that Sokka didn’t hear them.</p><p>“He kind of looks like this asshole Katara used to be in love with,” Sokka says, wrinkling his nose. “Him and his stupid Freedom Fighters kidnapped me and tried to drown an entire village.”</p><p>There’s no way, no <em> fucking way </em>he means Jet...right?</p><p>“Was he, uh, tall-ish? Always had a piece of wheat in his mouth?”</p><p>
  <em> (Was he charming? Was he funny? Was he strong?) </em>
</p><p>“Oh yeah, that dude had an oral fixation for <em> days, </em>like seriously, I wanted to rip it out of his stupid teeth—“</p><p>
  <em> (Teeth that traced his collarbone, left bruises on his chest, left his lips red and swollen) </em>
</p><p>“—but wait, how do you know Jet?”</p><p>“Jet and I, we…”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t know what to say, his mind scattered with thoughts of <em> rough lips on his, fingers digging into his hips, lies upon lies upon lies.  </em></p><p>“We were both refugees in Ba Sing Se,” he eventually settles on. “He accused Uncle and I of being firebenders.” It isn’t even a lie, technically.</p><p>“You <em> are </em> firebenders.”</p><p>Zuko looks away. “We weren’t, then. I really had stopped trying to find Aang. We were just trying to survive.”</p><p>Sokka looks suspicious, but decides to drop it. “Well, anyways, I still don’t get what she saw in him.”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t reply, still trying to reconcile the fact that he and Katara both know what Jet’s lips taste like.</p><p>“Whatever,” Sokka sighs. “Not my type, but who am I to judge?”</p><p>Zuko snorts. “Of course he’s not.”</p><p>Sokka frowns, and Zuko probably shouldn’t feel this offended on behalf of one of his bad jokes.</p><p>“You know,” he says, nudging Sokka’s shoulder, “‘cause it’s a guy.”</p><p>The fact that Sokka doesn’t even gratify him with a chuckle weighs heavier on Zuko’s pride than he’d like to admit. “Nevermind,” he mutters, moving away only to be stopped by Sokka’s hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“Wait,” Sokka says slowly, forcing Zuko to look at him. “You don’t...you don’t think I’m <em> straight</em>, do you?”</p><p>Zuko gapes. “I mean—“</p><p>A laugh finally makes its way out of Sokka’s throat, and Zuko feels hot all over. “Oh my god,” he says, wiping an invisible tear from the corner of his eye. “That’s a good one.”</p><p>“But—you and Suki—I thought—“</p><p>Sokka places a hand on his shoulder, fighting back a grin. “Yeah, I liked Suki. And I liked Haru, before he grew that abomination of a mustache.”</p><p>“And I, uh,” Sokka starts, looking pointedly at the ground and bringing a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck, “It’s kind of funny, but I sort of like—“</p><p>He’s cut off by a door slamming open in Zuko’s face—literally. He recoils, moving to cradle his newest bruises before being stopped by his handcuffs.</p><p>“Don’t come back until you have results!” The warden’s voice is booming in the suffocatingly silent hallway, drowning out the hurried “yes, sir”’s of the guards now scurrying out of his office.</p><p>“Now, who’s out there?”</p><p>Zuko gulps, allowing Sokka to lead him into the room by his elbow.</p><p>“Well, well, well. It looks like the traitor’s shown his face.”</p><p>The cruel amusement etched into the hardened lines of the warden’s face is unnerving, made worse by the grin slowly spreading across it.</p><p>“Why don’t you have a seat, <em> Prince Zuko.</em>” His voice drips with disdain, corrosive in a way he’s all too familiar with. “We have a lot to discuss.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>in this house we love and support the absolute hatred of haru’s mustache</p><p>im already working on the next chapter, should be up tomorrow!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. ...an egg?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“I heard you hatching an escape plan, and I want in.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to get in on,” Zuko replies.</p><p>“Yeah!” Sokka adds. “The only thing we're hatching is...an egg?”</p><p>or: zuko makes a new friend, and it’s definitely not chit sang</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>warning for implied off-screen violence &amp; vaguely referenced child abuse</p><p>(yes ik the chapter summary is just the literal dialogue from the show but it’s quite possibly one of the best lines so oh well)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>One would think that, given his propensity for treason, Zuko would be cut out for a life of crime. And one would be, to put it mildly, horribly wrong.</p><p>In the span of just a few hours, Zuko had managed to be spit on by an eclectic cast of guards and inmates alike, nearly tripled his previous record of death threats received in a single day, and collected an impressive array of black and blue on his skin.</p><p>It hasn’t been the worst day of his life, but it’s certainly a close contender.</p><p>The only saving grace, it seemed, was that Sokka hadn’t been the one tasked to escort him to his cell (Agni, he has a<em> cell)</em> and force him to change into his prison garb. (The guard trained on him helpfully pointed out that the burgundy fabric really makes his scar “pop.”)</p><p>Now, though, he’s been tasked with cleaning duty, and has no idea where the fuck Sokka is. He hasn’t seen him since his not-so-friendly chat in the warden’s office, and he prays to any diety that will listen that Sokka knows what he’s doing, because he’s not sure how much longer he’ll last here.</p><p>He plays the warden’s words over in his mind: <em> “If these criminals found out who you are, the traitor prince who let his nation down, why they'd tear you to shreds.” </em></p><p>It’s ridiculous, in retrospect. Sure, it had been intimidating in his office (after he got the shit beat out of him, he might add), but there was no way in hell the entire prison hadn’t heard about his arrival the second his helmet was ripped off.</p><p>He’s not exactly a conspicuous-looking guy—there aren’t many Fire Nation citizens with such a distinctive traitor’s mark, not to mention the fact that his likeness has been splashed across wanted posters from Caldera to Ba Sing Se.</p><p>The guards, as expected, hate him with a vengeance. He’s a traitor, both to his nation and the supposed divine right to rule sloshing through his veins. He takes their ire in stride—if anything, it’s kind of gratifying to be seen as one of the good guys (or, he supposes, “enemies” in their eyes), because any shred of distance between his actions and Ozai’s will never be close to enough.</p><p>The other prisoners, though...their rage weighs heavily on him. He’s seen firsthand the devastation caused by his father, by Zuko <em> himself</em>. He wishes he could take it back, that he’d recognized the monstrosities his family orchestrated before ruining all these peoples’ lives. Many of the inmates were locked up for opposing the crown, some having been imprisoned here since before Zuko was even born into pitiful existence.</p><p>It didn’t matter if they’d seen him before, or if they’d heard about his shameful Agni Kai (he didn’t doubt it, though—his father was never one for subtlety). Because no matter how much he’s changed, his eyes still reflect the molten gold of the royal family. They tie him undeniably to a family tree of war and suffering that has screwed over every inmate on this miserable rock. And when their fists connect with his flesh, traitor prince or not, he still bleeds Sozin’s blood.</p><p>It’s kind of funny, if he thinks about it. These people think they’re saying some sort of “fuck you” to the Fire Lord when, in reality, his father would probably commend them for their efforts. He may have a special penchant for a more...personal hands-on approach with his son, but Ozai was never one to turn down outside help reinforcing his lessons.</p><p>
  <em> “So what's in it for you? Why don't you just tell my father to come collect a reward?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, in due time, believe me, I intend to collect.” </em>
</p><p>What would Father do, if (<em>when</em>) he found out? Would he kill him on the spot, public execution-style? Would he do it behind closed doors, lie to the world that Zuko had perished with honor as some sort of publicity stunt? Or would he just leave him here to rot, cold and alone and forgotten?</p><p>At this point, Zuko isn’t sure which option he’d prefer. (He’d make a pretty shitty martyr either way.)</p><p>The warden’s words are a welcome distraction from the itchy uniform clinging to the sweat on his back, from the way he’s forced to mop the same patch of tiles for the hundredth time because people won’t. Stop. <em> Spitting on it. </em></p><p>He clenches the mop between his hands; if a guard hadn’t already set it on fire to scare the shit out of him, he probably would do it himself. It didn’t exactly help that he ended up spilling dirty mop water all over the floor in his haste to extinguish the flames—he’d already seen the consequences for firebending, and he wasn’t exactly eager to give anyone the opportunity to rough him up more than they already had.</p><p>“You know, I never thought the prince would know his way around a mop.”</p><p>Zuko glances up to see a girl looking at him, brown eyes curious as she watches him attempt to soak up the remains of his mess.</p><p>“Uh, thanks, I think? I used to work in a tea shop with my uncle, so…” He trails off with a shrug and tries to force down the memory of Uncle’s disappointment that rises like bile in his throat.</p><p>The girl doesn’t reply, simply raises an eyebrow and tilts her head. Her arms, muscled in a way that screams <em> fighter,</em> are folded over the top of her own mop.</p><p>Zuko fidgets under her gaze. “Do I, uh, know you?”</p><p>If anything, the glint in her eyes sharpens. “You don’t remember me?”</p><p>Zuko frowns, thinking back to the long years of travel that have blended into an incomprehensible tangle of memories in the back of his mind (at least, the ones he hasn’t already repressed). The girl is clearly from the Earth Kingdom, what with her features. Maybe he’d met her in Ba Sing Se?</p><p>His confusion must be evident, because she answers him moments later with a wry upturn of her lips. “You kind of burned down my village.”</p><p>“Oh,” Zuko says, slumping in shame. “Sorry about that. But I’m good now, I promise!”</p><p>The worst part is, he <em> still </em>doesn’t know what village she’s talking about, and at this point he’s too afraid to ask.</p><p>”I believe you,” she says.</p><p>Zuko blinks. “You do?”</p><p>She shrugs. “If Sokka says you’ve changed, I trust him.”</p><p>“Do you want to, you know, beat me up? I wouldn’t blame you.”</p><p>The girl stares at him, her expression momentarily incredulous before it closes off into something akin to amusement. “Nah, it looks like everyone already beat me to the punch.”</p><p>She gestures to his face, no doubt sorely bruised like the rest of his body. He flushes, surely an attractive look amidst the carnage on his skin, and can’t help but imagine Sokka’s voice saying, “Get it? <em> Beaten? </em> To <em> the punch?” </em> Agni, he’s so stupidly enamored with this man.</p><p>“Wait.” The rest of her sentence catches up to him. “You know Sokka?”</p><p>The girl stares at him for a moment before it clicks.</p><p>“Oh, you’re Sokka’s girlfriend— I mean, his ex-girlfriend? I mean—“ he pauses, hanging his head with a frustrated sigh. “You’re Suki, right?”</p><p>“That’s me,” the girl in question says. “And is Sokka really going around saying I’m his girlfriend? I swear, you kiss a guy twice and suddenly he starts feeling all entitled to you.”</p><p>Zuko wishes the mere mention of kissing Sokka didn’t bring a flush to his cheeks. “He didn’t say that exactly…”</p><p>Speak of the devil.</p><p>He sees Sokka, visor flipped upward, enter the mess hall, locked in what looks like a thoroughly uncomfortable conversation with another guard. He sees the Suki also turning her attention to Sokka, giving him a small wave. The fondness in her expression makes Zuko realize, not for the first time, that there’s an infinite number of potential partners that would be far better for Sokka than...well, than <em> him. </em></p><p>He returns his attention to Sokka, because he’s hopeless like that. It seems that he’s finally managed to extract himself from the attention of the other guard, speeding over to where Zuko and Suki were doing an incredibly poor job of pretending to mop. </p><p>“Oh good,” he says when he arrives. “You guys have met.”</p><p>He and Suki exchange a glance. “Yeah,” she says, “Something like that.”</p><p>Sokka ushers them into a corner behind a set of stairs, where Suki gently places her mop to lean against the wall. Zuko, because he’s an idiot, simply carries his with him.</p><p>“So, listen, I think I have an escape plan.”</p><p>“Jeez, could you say that any louder?” Suki asks, giving Sokka a playful nudge with her elbow. Zuko feels a twinge of jealousy, and files it away as yet another emotion to unpack later.</p><p>“Right, right,” Sokka says, shifting to a poor excuse of a whisper. “Look, I checked out the coolers again, and the point of them is to keep firebenders contained, right?”</p><p>“Yeah…” Zuko can’t help but shudder at the thought; those things, they’re barbaric! Isolating someone from their element…Just another item to add to his lengthy to-do list of “things his fucked-up family did that need to be stopped ASAP” if he somehow manages to survive this war. (Or, at this point, even manages to make it off this damn island.)</p><p>“That means they're completely insulated and sealed to keep the cold in. Well, to keep the cold in, it also has to keep the heat out, right?”</p><p>Suki rolls her eyes. “Just get to the point, Sokka.”</p><p>“It’s a perfect boat for getting through the boiling water!”</p><p>Zuko looks at Suki, then back at Sokka. “The cooler as a boat? Are you sure?”</p><p>Suki seems equally as skeptical, and it’s nice to actually have someone on his side, another friend in his pitifully small group of people he actually trusts.</p><p>“I know it sounds crazy, but I’m telling you, it’ll work!”</p><p>No one says anything, which Sokka seems to take as an invitation to continue laying out his master plan. “I walked around the perimeter earlier. There's a blind spot between two guard towers. It's the perfect launching point! I already tested it out.</p><p>“We'll roll the cooler into the water and just float with the current. It'll take us straight across. As long as we don't make a sound, no one will notice.”</p><p>“How the hell did you manage that?” Zuko asks.</p><p>“By using my incredible origami skills to make a boat, duh!”</p><p>Even though he’s not looking at her, Zuko knows Suki is leveling Sokka with a glare not unlike his own.</p><p>“It’ll work, I promise! We follow my plan, and bing-bang-boom, we're home free.”</p><p>“Even if that would work, how are you going to get the cooler out?”</p><p>“Yeah,” says a booming voice from above, “How <em> are </em>you going to get the cooler out?”</p><p>Zuko flinches back as a man best described as <em> hefty </em> jumps over the railing and lands with a <em> thud </em>beside him. He recognizes him as the guy who was goaded into firebending earlier in the yard.</p><p>“What?” Sokka stammers. “We didn't...w-we didn't say that.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko says, trying his best to look intimidating to a man at least a foot taller than him. “You heard wrong.”</p><p>The man shakes his head, unphased by what Zuko’s sure is the most pitiful glare in existence. “I heard you hatching an escape plan, and I want in.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to get in on,” Zuko replies.</p><p>“Yeah!” Sokka adds. “The only thing we're hatching is...an egg?”</p><p>Zuko smacks a hand against his forehead. He hears Suki do the same.</p><p>“Okay,” the man says, dragging out the word in a way that suggests (no, <em> confirms</em>) there’s no universe in which he believes them. “Well, I come with you or the warden hears about this egg, too.”</p><p>Zuko grimaces. He’s not exactly keen on seeing the warden again after their last conversation...if one could even call it that.</p><p>Suki sighs and turns to Sokka. “I guess we have no choice.”</p><p>“Okay, fine, you’re in,” Sokka says. He has the gaul to look annoyed, as if he wasn’t the one to blow their secret operation in the first place with his infuriating inability to lie. “First, we need someone to unbolt the cooler from the inside.”</p><p>He pulls out a wrench from inside his guard uniform, which they all hiss at him to put away. “Fine, fine,” he grumbles, stowing what is definitely contraband. “What about you, Mister...uh…”</p><p>“Chit Sang,” the man offers.</p><p>“Right,” Sokka says. “Weren’t you in the cooler earlier?”</p><p>Chit Sang scowls. “Yeah, and I ain’t about to go back in.”</p><p>“But we aren’t benders!” Sokka protests.</p><p>“You may not be,” Chit Sang says, “But <em>he</em> is.”</p><p>He jerks a thumb in Zuko’s direction, who gulps as three sets of eyes land on him.</p><p>“What? You thought I wouldn’t recognize the Fire Nation’s very own <em> Prince Zuko</em>?”</p><p>His voice drips with disdain, and Zuko opens his mouth before he can even process the words on his tongue. “<em>Former </em> prince, actually.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Chit Sang says, peering at Zuko’s face—no, at Zuko’s <em> scar</em>. “Your daddy banish you again?”</p><p>Zuko splutters. “No, I left on my own, thank you very much.”</p><p>“Uh huh.” Chit Sang looks about as convinced as he did of Sokka’s lie. (Sokka who, much to Zuko’s embarrassment, is giving him the same look of concern—and please, not pity, <em> anything </em>but pity—as earlier at the mention of his scar.)</p><p>“I’m serious!”</p><p>“Hi serious, I’m dad,” he hears Sokka say behind him with a snort.</p><p>“Not helping,” he hisses.</p><p>“Listen,” Chit Sang says. “Either princey here unbolts the cooler, or I’m going to pay our friend the warden a visit.”</p><p>“Okay,” Zuko finally snaps. “I’ll do it.”</p><p>Sokka looks ready to protest, but Zuko waves him off. “I have my breath of fire, I’ll be fine.”</p><p>He lets a small burst of sparks out on his next exhale to prove his point, and finds immense satisfaction in the way Sokka’s breath hitches.</p><p>“Here,” he says, retrieving the wrench and passing it to Zuko.</p><p>“Thanks,” Zuko mutters, slipping it under his waistband. The metal is surprisingly less cold against his skin than he expected, and Zuko realizes with a hopefully-not-super-obvious flush that it’s because it’s been pressed against Sokka’s body.</p><p>
  <em> Sokka’s hands, warm and rough against his cheeks, brushing away his tears, so close that he could kiss him… </em>
</p><p><em> No, </em> he scolds his brain, <em> now is </em> not <em> the time. </em></p><p>“So,” he says, wincing as his voice cracks. “How do I get in?”</p><p>Chit Sang’a face splits into a grin. “Believe me, I can get you inside.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope i managed to capture the zuko/suki dynamic okay, it was harder than expected. (i would actually die for suki no cap)</p><p>next up: the cooler! stay tuned...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. the cooler</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko has only been in the cooler for half an hour, and he’s already regretting every decision he’s ever made. Agni, why the fuck did he agree to this?</p><p>Because you’re in love with Sokka, his mind whispers. And yeah, okay, point taken.</p><p>or: two bros chillin in a cooler. spoiler alert: they are not 5 feet apart</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>canon? don’t know her (i say as i very slightly diverge from it)</p><p>the amount of self-restraint it took to not title this chapter “nobody puts baby in a cooler” was unreal</p><p>warning for implied abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko has only been in the cooler for half an hour, and he’s already regretting every decision he’s ever made. His thin clothes do little to keep out the cold, and it’s a strain on his already sleep-deprived brain to focus on unbolting the various screws holding the machine in place while also trying not to freeze his dick off. Agni, why the fuck did he agree to this?</p><p><em> Because you’re in love with Sokka</em>, his mind whispers. And yeah, okay, point taken. That doesn’t mean he can’t still be miserable about it.</p><p><em> Focus,</em> he tells himself. He can hear Uncle’s voice in his head, guiding him through his breathing.</p><p>
  <em> “Firebending power comes from the breath, not the muscle, Prince Zuko.” </em>
</p><p>Back on his ship, back when Zuko’s burn was still fresh and he flinched at the slightest sparks, Uncle would take him out onto the deck to meditate. They started at night, when their bending was at its weakest. (Zuko would have preferred death over admitting it, but the feeling of his inner fire at its full strength would have definitely sent him spiraling into a panic attack.)</p><p>
  <em> “Fire itself is not evil, though it can be used for cruelty.”  </em>
</p><p>Zuko, in his naivety, had rushed to defend his father. (He realizes, now, that Uncle had been talking about carnage far beyond the violence imparted on his face.)</p><p>
  <em> “Our flames are the manifestation of our breath as it becomes energy within our bodies. They are alive, Nephew. Feel their heartbeat, how it matches with yours.” </em>
</p><p>He draws on that same pulse within him now, breathing in time with it.</p><p>
  <em> “Firebenders pray to Agni above, Spirit of the Flames. Without His power, without His flaming tongues igniting the sun, all living things would perish.” </em>
</p><p>Now, locked in the underground cooler, Agni feels incredibly far away. He can feel the distance deep in his gut, made only worse by frost clinging to his body. His hands are starting to grow numb, his grip on the wrench growing clumsy and uncoordinated. He realizes, belatedly, that he’s been working on the same screw for almost ten minutes.</p><p>
  <em> Focus on the breath. </em>
</p><p>On his next exhale, Zuko shifts into a meditative pose, resting the wrench on his lap. He brings his hands forward in front of his chest, curling his right fingers into a fist and pressing them into the flattened palm of his left.</p><p>He inhales, channeling the frigid air down his throat and deep into his core. He imagines his inner fire, the power of his chi, curling around the cold, heating it. Then, slowly, he lets the breath go, feeling the familiar flare of sparks leave his lips.</p><p>He repeats the process a few more times, until a final, larger breath of fire—tinged pink and green, like the light of the masters—skitters across his still-joined hands, wrapping them in a coat of flames.</p><p>He shakes out the sparks, grinning as the feeling in his limbs returns. Then he picks up the wrench and gets back to work.</p><hr/><p>Zuko jerks upright at the sound of the outer cooler door creaking open, pulling his crossed legs up to his chest and hunching over them in an effort to hide the pile of bolts and screws out of sight.</p><p>He’d settled back into a full meditation after finishing the unbolting process, which, if his internal sundial was to be trusted, he’d completed in about an hour. <em> How comforting</em>, he thinks, <em> to know that this death trap is always a few steps away from falling right off the side of the building. </em></p><p>“I can take you back to your cell if you've learned your lesson.”</p><p>Zuko looks up to the figure at the door and grins—he’d know Sokka’s voice anywhere (and <em> no, </em> he <em> will not </em>be unpacking that anytime soon).</p><p>“Yes, I have,” Zuko says, lowering his knees slightly so that Sokka can see his conquests. “Completely.”</p><p>He finishes his sentence with another breath of fire, and maybe it’s a trick of his (hormonal and overzealous) imagination, but he swears he sees Sokka tremble. (If anyone asks, his little show of flames was for practical reasons of warmth only. <em> Only!</em>)</p><p>“I got Suki and Chit Sang out of their cells a few minutes ago,” Sokka says, lifting up his visor. “They’re waiting for us.”</p><p>Zuko nods, moving to stand, but Sokka suddenly pushes him back down.</p><p>“What the f—“</p><p>Sokka clamps his hand over Zuko’s mouth. “Someone’s coming,” he hisses, crouching down beside him and sliding the door closed.</p><p>Outside, Zuko can hear the muffled sound of combat boots and voices.</p><p>“Yeah, new arrivals coming in at dawn,” one guard says.</p><p>“Anybody interesting?” the other guard asks.</p><p>“Nah, just the usual,” the first one replies. “Some robbers, a couple traitors, some war prisoners...though I did hear there might be a pirate.”</p><p>“No fooling!”</p><p>It’s only after their voices fade away that Sokka seems to realize his hand is still over Zuko’s mouth (a fact of which Zuko is <em> extremely </em>aware), and lets it drop back towards his body.</p><p>They stare at each other for a moment before Zuko manages to speak. “War prisoners. It could be your father.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Zuko hums, thinking. “Well, what should we do? Are we going ahead with the plan or are we waiting another night?”</p><p>“I don't know!” Sokka says, throwing his arms up in frustration and nearly clocking Zuko in the jaw. “Is it right for me to risk Suki's freedom, <em> all </em> of our freedom, on the slim chance that my dad is gonna show up?”</p><p>“It’s your call, Sokka.”</p><p>Sokka groans. “We should talk it over with Suki.”</p><p>“And don’t forget Chit Sang,” Zuko adds, smirking at the groan aimed his way.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Sokka says, rolling his eyes as he pushes himself up to stand. “Let’s get out of here and—“</p><p>Zuko frowns, still in the process of trying to find a way to stand up without scattering screws everywhere. “What?”</p><p>“Um…” Sokka scrambles at the door again, as if feeling around for something.</p><p>Zuko’s jaw drops. “You <em> didn’t</em>.”</p><p>Sokka has the decency to at least look slightly ashamed.</p><p>“You could’ve left when the guards came, or at least propped it open!”</p><p>Sokka turns back to him, sliding down to the floor. “I panicked!”</p><p>“Yeah, no kidding.”</p><p>“Listen, we just have to wait until another guard comes to get you out.”</p><p>“And then what? You get your cover blown too?”</p><p>Sokka opens and closes his mouth a few times. “We’ll...I don’t know, attack them?”</p><p>Zuko blinks.</p><p>“Do you have any better ideas?</p><p>Regrettably, he most certainly does not. “Fine.”</p><p>He settles back into his earlier pose, drawing his focus back to his breath. He hears Sokka shifting on the floor beside him, and he manages to tolerate a minute of the incessant fidgeting before snapping. “Would you quit that?”</p><p>Sokka stills, staring at Zuko like a cat-deer caught in the torchlights. Then his eyes narrow. “Sorry for being cold.”</p><p><em> Oh. </em>Now he feels like an asshole—a major, insecure asshole who can only think of one solution to this predicament that he most definitely will not survive.</p><p>“I, uh,” he says awkwardly, “I can warm you up, if you want.”</p><p>Sokka looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “Listen, you’re an attractive guy and all, but I don’t really think now’s the best time for—“</p><p>“No,” Zuko interrupts, studiously turning his attention to the floor so he doesn’t combust with embarrassment. “I meant, I can use my breath of fire to, um, heat my skin.”</p><p>“Oh,” Sokka says. “That would be...nice.”</p><p>When Zuko regains enough dignity to lift his head up, he’s pleasantly surprised to see he’s not the only one blushing. (Although, considering the shivers wracking Sokka’s body, the red of his cheeks may be for a very different reason.)</p><p>“I’ll just, uh…” Zuko trails off, carefully unfolding the bottom of his shirt to lay the screws on the floor. He winces as they still manage to make a clattering sound, but it’s better than letting an already-cold Sokka touch freezing metal.</p><p>Beside him, Sokka is carefully stripping off the outer layer of his guard uniform, his helmet already discarded.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>Sokka startles, cursing as he misses the last strap on his chest plate. “It’s for warmth.”</p><p>“Isn’t <em> that </em>warm?” Zuko asks, gesturing to the pile of armor Sokka has shed in favor of a simple cloth tunic underneath.</p><p>“Well, considering it’s metal, and we’re in a f-fucking freezer, not really. Plus, when you huddle for warmth, you’re supposed to have more s-skin to skin contact.”</p><p>Zuko stills at his words. Sokka does too.</p><p>“You know, like we do at the South Pole,” Sokka adds quickly. “Because, uh, g-glaciers, and all that.”</p><p>“Right…”</p><p>“So now you j-just, like,” Sokka spreads Zuko’s arms out by his shoulders, then (<em>Agni have mercy</em>) pushes Zuko’s legs apart, “Sit like that, and I’ll just, y-y’know…”</p><p>Still seated, Sokka scooches his way into the space he’s created between Zuko’s thighs, pulling Zuko’s knees around him and leaning forward against his chest. He tugs Zuko’s arms around him, and Zuko lets his weight rest against the wall behind his back.</p><p>The wall, like the rest of the cooler, is freezing; but the cold, once torturous, is now a godsend, because if Zuko’s blood had the chance to circulate freely...well, he thinks he’d probably end his life on the spot.</p><p>“Okay,” Zuko says, taking a shaky breath, “I’m gonna start, y’know, breathing.”</p><p>Sokka nods against him; Zuko can barely feel it over the intensity of his shivers. “You d-do that.”</p><p>“Let me know if it gets too hot,” he adds. “I’m not great at judging temperatures for, uh, normal people.”</p><p>“Wow, I feel so s-special,” Sokka says drily. Then he adds, voice softer, “But I trust you.”</p><p>
  <em> You shouldn’t. </em>
</p><p>Taking a deep breath, Zuko reaches inward toward the chi burning steadily in his gut. He lets the air settle, mingle with the flames. Then, rather than letting the smokey air heat his lungs, he pushes the warmth <em> out. </em>It’s different from a typical bending form—for one, Zuko has to take the utmost care not to let any stray fire leave his skin. He may be (mostly) fireproof, but Sokka doesn’t have that luxury. And if he burns him, even accidentally...Zuko doesn’t know if he’d be able to live with himself.</p><p>“How are you s-so warm?” Sokka asks, teeth still chattering.</p><p>Zuko shrugs, inviting more of his chi to bubble up to his skin. He can feel the chill of Sokka’s fingers pressed against his bare shoulders, the frigid tip of his nose nuzzled against his neck. <em> He probably isn’t even aware he’s doing it, </em>Zuko reasons. It does nothing to assuage the pounding of his heart, and he forces himself to focus on drawing away the iciness from Sokka’s skin.</p><p>“Do you think,” Sokka says after a moment, voice muffled in Zuko’s neck, “It’s really my dad?”</p><p>The cynic in Zuko wants to say no, because when has fate ever been kind to them? But right now Sokka, shivering in his arms, is not a warrior—like Zuko, he’s just a kid who got thrown in the deep end.</p><p>“It could be,” Zuko settles on. He draws more heat out on his next exhale, hoping that the way Sokka somehow manages to press himself even closer is a good sign.</p><p>“What do we do?” Sokka whines. “If we stay, Suki loses her chance to escape. <em> We </em>lose our chance to escape.”</p><p>It’s the same question as before, but Zuko feels a new sense of confidence in his answer. “I’m with you, no matter what.”</p><p>Sokka pulls back at that—close enough to still be warm, but far enough that he can look Zuko in the eye. “Why?”</p><p>His question is spoken so quietly that, without seeing the puff of water vapor exiting his mouth, Zuko might have thought he imagined it.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t I be?”</p><p>Sokka shifts. “I’m not like you. I’m not special, or royalty, or a bender. I can barely even fight with a sword!”</p><p>It’s Zuko’s turn to stare at Sokka like he’s crazy. “You’re joking, right?”</p><p>“Oh, how could I forget my oh-so-important role as the group’s comedic relief.” The sarcasm dripping from Sokka’s voice is cut off by the chattering of his teeth. </p><p>Gently, Zuko cups his hand behind Sokka’s head, guiding it back towards the warm skin of his neck. (He makes sure to focus a good portion of his next breath to the tendon beneath his ear.) Sokka’s hair is down, and Zuko can’t stop himself from running his fingers through it.</p><p>Sokka stills.</p><p>“Is this okay?” Zuko asks softly.</p><p>He feels Sokka nod against him.</p><p>“I’ve never seen you without the ponytail,” he muses.</p><p>“It’s a warrior’s wolf tail,” Sokka mumbles, voice muffled by Zuko’s skin. If he hadn’t been on Zuko’s right side, he doubts he would’ve heard him.</p><p>Zuko hums as they fall into silence, still trailing his hand through Sokka’s hair.</p><p>“You know,” he says, “My father used to think I wasn’t a bender.”</p><p>He’s not sure why he says it, considering the quiet isn’t nearly uneasy enough to warrant breaking it; maybe it’s the unexpected comfort that prompts it.</p><p>“Really? I would’ve thought you came out of the womb shooting fireballs everywhere.”</p><p>Zuko chuckles. “No, that was Azula.”</p><p>He can practically hear Sokka rolling his eyes. </p><p>“He said, the first time he saw me, that I didn’t have the spark. I think,” Zuko takes another warming breath, lets it go, “He would have killed me if my mother hadn’t stopped him.”</p><p>Sokka tenses against him, but relaxes once Zuko runs his fingernails against his scalp. “That’s fucked.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, this is the Fire Lord we’re talking about, here.”</p><p>“Still.”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “That’s why I was trained in the art of the sword. They said it was shameful, especially once I learned how to bend, but...there was something about the dual dao. It felt...it felt like <em> mine, </em>you know?”</p><p>Sokka nods.</p><p>“After my mother...left, Uncle was the only one who approved. That’s why he brought them with us on my ship<em>.</em>”</p><p>“What?” Sokka says, voice playful. “Was it not princely enough to pack your own bags.”</p><p>Zuko freezes mid-breath. The air, the heat, the chill, all suddenly stuck in his chest, mixed up and jumbled like the lightning—<em> Father’s </em>lightning—that he’d fought to keep away from his heart.</p><p>“Something like that,” he manages to grit out between clenched teeth.</p><p>He forces himself to exhale, making sure to turn his face away from Sokka because there’s no way in hell he can keep the sparks from flying.</p><p>He’s sure Sokka can tell something’s up, but he thankfully doesn’t press.</p><p>“You know,” Sokka says after a moment, “Before the invasion, I hadn’t seen my dad in over three years.”</p><p>The Zuko of a few months ago would have snapped that “boo hoo, I haven’t either,” but the Zuko of now simply says, “That sounds hard.”</p><p>And he means it.</p><p>“He and all the other warriors left to fight in the war a while ago. He said I had to stay to protect the village, to protect Katara—not that she needs it,” he adds with a snort, and Zuko can’t help but agree. “But he still left me behind.</p><p>“And now,” he continues, “I finally had a chance to prove myself during the eclipse, but I just fucked it all up.”</p><p>“The Fire Lord was ready,” Zuko says, pointedly steering away from the shameful connection he shared with him. “You couldn’t have known that.”</p><p>“But I should have. And if my dad’s not here, if I can’t make it up to him…”</p><p>Zuko lets his hand trail down from Sokka’s hair to his back, letting the heat pool in his palm and rubbing it in what he hopes are soothing circles.</p><p>“I just want him to be proud of me.”</p><p>Sokka’s voice cracks on the word <em> proud</em>; so does Zuko’s heart.</p><p>“I may not be the best judge of fathers,” Zuko says carefully, “But anyone should be proud to call you their son.”</p><p>Sokka pulls back to look at him again. His eyes are wide, filled with tears that Zuko would bet aren’t just from the cold. “Do you mean that?”</p><p>Zuko nods. “Of course.”</p><p>He watches as Sokka frees himself from the hold of Zuko’s right arm, slowly bringing his hand up to cup the unscarred side of Zuko’s face.</p><p>“Sorry,” he mutters as he inevitably flinches, “‘S just cold.”</p><p>For once, Zuko isn’t sure if he’s lying or not.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t move, and Zuko barely dares to breathe. The contact feels fragile, like one wrong step would disintegrate whatever it is they’ve curated between them.</p><p>It dawns on Zuko, then, that if he doesn’t tell Sokka about his stupid, embarrassing feelings for him now, he never will.</p><p>“Sokka,” Zuko breathes, tongue already feeling twisted after managing a single word. “There’s something I have to—“</p><p>Then Sokka’s lips are on his and the words die in his throat. His stomach is whirling, his blood is <em> singing, </em>and he feels a sudden weightlessness he hadn’t even thought possible.</p><p>Sokka pulls away, leaving Zuko to turn to the now seemingly-impossible task of getting his breathing under control.</p><p>“Sorry,” Sokka says, “It’s just, you don’t know how <em> long </em>I’ve been wanting to do that.”</p><p>“You...really?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sokka says, Zuko desperately searching his features for any sort of deceit. “If you’re, uh, not about it, we can just pretend it never happened and—“</p><p>Now it’s Zuko’s turn to cut him off with a kiss, and it feels strangely vindicating. It feels electric. It feels like heaven. It feels <em> right</em>.</p><p>“Your, ah,” Sokka pauses, touching his forehead to Zuko’s, “Your lips are kinda hot.”</p><p>“Uh...thanks?”</p><p>“No, I mean…” Sokka ducks away, looking sheepish. “Well, yeah, they’re hot like that—<em> you’re </em>hot like that—but I meant more like, uh...flamey?”</p><p>“Oh, shit,” Zuko says, immediately withdrawing his heat inward. “They should be cooler now if you wanted to...kiss again?”</p><p>Zuko feels like an idiot, but soon finds he doesn’t care when Sokka once again crowds into his space.</p><p>“Don’t think,” Sokka says, pausing to kiss him again, “Once we get out of this fucking cooler,” another break, a gasp for air between the feeling of their mouths fumbling against each other, “I’m gonna forget about that burning lip thing.”</p><p>Zuko’s first instinct is to apologize, because he really should have been in better control himself, before the <em> actual </em> meaning of Sokka’s words sink in. His throat goes dry. Maybe the lightning actually <em> had </em> killed him, because there’s no way Zuko’s suddenly gotten so lucky.</p><p>They break apart after another minute, both breathing deeply. “That was...wow.”</p><p>Sokka smiles. “Yeah.”</p><p>Then he yawns, and the swarm of butterflies in Zuko’s stomach insists it’s the most adorable thing he’s ever had the fortune of seeing.</p><p>“It’s okay if you want to rest,” Zuko offers. “We might be in here for a while.”</p><p>Sokka groans. “Why do these guards hate you so much?”</p><p>“I don’t know, probably something to do with me being a traitor and all,” he replies with a smirk.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Sokka says. “I’m a wanted fugitive too. You’re not special.”</p><p>Zuko can’t help but laugh. “Go to sleep, idiot. I promise I won’t let you freeze to death... probably.”</p><p>“Gee, thanks.”</p><p>He loosens his hold on Sokka so that he can situate himself more comfortably. Then, once he’s stopped squirming, Zuko gently wraps his arms around him again.</p><p>“You know,” Sokka says against his neck, “Once we get out of here, I <em> am </em>going to be using you as my personal furnace.”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“It gets cold on Appa, you’ll see!”</p><p>Appa. He’ll be riding Appa. Because he’s part of the group—at least, according to Sokka. It fills him with a new sense of warmth, which he channels up to his skin. Sokka sighs contentedly, and Zuko tightens his arms around him.</p><p>He mulls their conversation over in his head as he continues with his breath of fire. Sokka’s exhales have slowed against his throat, and Zuko finds it absurdly endearing. He rests his chin on his hair—which he should really wear down more—and imagines the heat of Agni’s rays, the blinding beauty of Ran and Shaw’s flames. The warm pressure of Sokka’s lips against his. </p><p>He holds onto the flames, and he breathes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my brain, the entire time i was writing this: “drake, where’s the door hole?”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. cold feet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko loses count of his breathing around the same time he loses feeling in his feet. What was it that Uncle said, once, about a soldier in his platoon who had died of exposure in the tundra?</p><p>“When he stopped shivering, we knew it was too late.”</p><p>Zuko’s body has only just started to tremble, so he must at least be doing something right. </p><p>or: the risk zuko takes is calculated, but man, is he bad at math</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>we’re officially moving into the part 2 script. what does that mean? hell if i know</p><p>(the chapter title posted wrong so uh ignore if you saw something else before lol)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko loses count of his breathing around the same time he loses feeling in his feet.</p><p>The numbness is disorienting, unnoticeable at first but now slamming into him all at once. It reminds him of his last-ditch attempt to capture the Avatar at the North Pole, woefully unprepared for the freezing weather and somehow hotheaded enough to see no issue with taking a dip in an underground Arctic river not even 24 hours after an assassination attempt.</p><p>When his then-enemies had (for some reason) dragged him away from an icy death, it only took a few minutes of matching his breath of fire with Uncle’s—<em>“Breathe into the feeling of the sun on your back, call it in towards your center”</em>—to pull him back from the brink of hypothermia. But he still remembers, with an unsettling clarity, the chill that had burrowed heavy in his bones, and that sheer, unbridled panic before he managed to regain feeling in his limbs.</p><p>(He pointedly refuses to let his mind wander to Zhao, choosing death over his help; just as he pushes away the memories of the still, blue-lipped Fire Navy soldiers that drifted past the raft he and Uncle escaped on.)</p><p>He feels some of that same panic now, obsessively trying to wiggle his toes inside his pitifully uninsulated shoes. He knows, logically, that he could easily redirect his chi path to his feet, leaving them toasty and mobile in no time—he’d done far greater before, and as a less experienced bender to boot.</p><p>But this isn’t about him, or his poor, freezing feet. This is about Sokka, whose life he’s literally holding in his hands. The calculation is easy, even for Zuko, who hasn’t had a proper arithmetics lesson since the age of thirteen: if he focuses his flame downward, he takes away Sokka’s warmth.</p><p>Zuko sighs, resigning himself to continuing his futile attempts to flex his toes. What was it that Uncle said, once, about a soldier in his platoon who had died of exposure in the tundra?</p><p>
  <em> “When he stopped shivering, we knew it was too late.” </em>
</p><p>Zuko’s body has only just started to tremble, so he must be doing at least <em> something </em>right. Sokka has long since stopped shaking, but the warmth of his face—still tucked into the crook of Zuko’s neck—shows it to be a good kind of stillness.</p><p>Zuko will take what he can get.</p><hr/><p>He shakes Sokka’s shoulder, later, at the sound of footsteps in the corridor outside. “Hey, wake up. Someone’s coming.”</p><p>“Huh?” Sokka’s voice is heavy with sleep, and Zuko <em> really </em>shouldn’t find it so endearing.</p><p>He yawns, blinking slowly, and Zuko notes with some amusement that he can pinpoint the exact moment when Sokka realizes just who he’s been cuddling up with.</p><p>“I, uh,” Sokka stammers, leaning back and fumbling for his helmet. “Okay, you stay here, I’ll deal with this.”</p><p>Zuko nods, trying to scoot out of the way to block the pile of discarded screws from view. He bites back a groan as he moves, pins and needles shooting up his arms at the pressure. His feet refuse to respond to his brain’s frantic orders, and he’s forced to drag them back towards him with his hands.</p><p>Sokka, now back in his full guard regalia, has his nose pressed up against the small, glass window, hands cupped around the sides of his eyes like a pair of blinders.</p><p>Despite his body’s extremely vocal complaining, Zuko manages to reach forward and tug at the hem of Sokka’s uniform. “What happened to ‘the element of surprise’?” he hisses.</p><p>Sokka ignores Zuko’s prompting to <em> get his ass on the floor right now</em>, and instead gives him...a smile?</p><p>“It’s Suki!” he says.</p><p>Great, one of their few allies got caught—why the hell is Sokka <em> excited?</em></p><p>He asks him as much, and Sokka waves him away. “It’s just her.”</p><p>He returns his attention to the window, waving and smacking at it with a renewed vigor. Zuko’s warnings to keep it down if he wants it to <em> remain just her </em> are steadfastly ignored, and soon enough the footsteps stop outside their cooler. The door begins to slide open, and Zuko prays to Agni that this isn’t a trap.</p><p>“I was wondering what the hell was taking you so long.”</p><p>“Suki!” Sokka squeals, launching himself up and wrapping her in a hug. </p><p>Zuko would probably do the same, if the nerves in his feet could do their fucking job. Still, the sight of Suki, now untangling herself from Sokka, is the most glorious thing he’s ever laid eyes on. It probably has something to do with the fact that she brings with her the promise of freedom and, more importantly, <em> heat. </em>Though the air in the hallway isn’t exactly warm, it feels heavenly to Zuko; it’s like his body is physically ripping the heat from the air, soaking in as much as it can get.</p><p>“Let me guess,” Suki says, crossing her arms and looking pointedly at Sokka. “You got yourself locked in there.”</p><p>“Hey, I totally could have done it on purpose!”</p><p>Suki barely raises her brow before Sokka deflates. “Yeah, okay, I got stuck.”</p><p>“Well, get yourself unstuck, because Chit Sang can only keep the guards distracted for so long.”</p><p>“Right,” Sokka says. “C’mon, Zuko, you heard the lady.”</p><p>He did hear the lady—but his feet, the traitorous bastards, did not. They scream in protest as he shifts to his knees, nerves fritzing far past the precipice of pain as they shift in contact with the frozen ground.</p><p>Zuko grits his teeth—he does <em> not </em>have time for this—and forces himself the rest of the way up.</p><p>The vertigo that immediately hits him clearly doesn’t understand the concept of a time crunch.</p><p>“Fuck,” he mutters, closing his eyes against the black spots dotting his vision and reaching a hand forward blindly to steady himself.</p><p>The wall beneath his palm sends a jolt of <em> cold </em> through his body, and he wants so badly to pull away. He does, at first, only to be harshly reminded that he <em> still </em>can’t feel his toes and okay, touching the freezing wall beats falling on his ass by a long shot.</p><p>“What’s he doing?” Suki hisses.</p><p>Zuko wants to snap that <em> he </em>can hear them, but he doesn’t trust himself not to puke if he opens his mouth.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Sokka says, moving closer to gently rest a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, buddy, what’s going on?”</p><p><em> Buddy. </em>Of course.</p><p>“I’m fine,” he grits out. “Let’s just get out of here.”</p><p>“Okay,” Sokka says slowly, sounding anything but assured.</p><p>“I’m <em> fine</em>, really.”</p><p>He barely manages to force his leg forward before his vision pinwheels into nothingness.</p><hr/><p>When Zuko first comes to, he’s being carried bridal-style in a pair of arms that definitely don’t belong to Sokka.</p><p>“What’s going on?” he rasps.</p><p>He tries to look around, but only succeeds in making himself nauseous.</p><p>“Settle down, pipsqueak.”</p><p>The person carrying him sounds like his grandfather, but the man’s hands, while abnormally warm, don’t burn him, so he doesn’t struggle. Instead, he burrows into the warmth’s embrace and returns to the darkness.</p><hr/><p>The next time Zuko wakes, it’s to the feeling of Agni’s rays on his face. He inhales deeply, pulling as much heat as he can into his breath and funneling it through his body. His chi, though still dimmed, begins to brighten.</p><p>Slowly, he cracks open his eyes. With his right, he sees the sun’s glow in the sky; with his left, he manages to make out a shadow vaguely resembling a silhouette leaning over him. “Chit Sang better not be carrying me again.”</p><p>The laugh he hears, though garbled by his mangled excuse of an ear, definitely does <em> not </em>belong to Chit Sang.</p><p>“Suki?” he asks, trying to turn his head to better see her. (At least, he <em> hopes </em>it’s her.)</p><p>“Shit, sorry.” There’s a strange series of thuds at his side before Suki’s head pops into his field of vision. “I forgot about your, uh…”</p><p>“Crippling physical deformity?” He offers her a small grin, which she returns with one of her own and a light punch to his shoulder. She reminds him, he realizes, of Toph—an older, better-mannered Toph.</p><p>“Here,” she says, noticing his attempts to sit up from his current position as a wet noodle on the floor. She’s somehow managed to climb over to his other side without him even noticing, and helps him off of his back with a firm grip on his biceps.</p><p>“Thanks,” he says.</p><p>He can sense her hovering nearby, even as he closes his eyes to tilt his head directly towards the sun. She seems content to let him sit on his own, though, which he appreciates.</p><p>He frowns as a sudden thought pops into his head. “Where’s Sokka?”</p><p>Suki bites her lip. “He kinda said not to tell you, but…”</p><p>“Suki,” he groans.</p><p>“<em>But</em>,” she continues, “I already told him that was stupid, so. He’s going to see the new prisoners.”</p><p>Zuko nods. “I hope he finds what he’s looking for.”</p><p>“Me too,” Suki says with a sad smile.</p><p>Zuko returns his focus to the sun, letting it bleed through the surface of his skin and seep into his veins.</p><p>“Sokka told me what you did.”</p><p>Zuko startles, heart rate skyrocketing. He hadn’t pegged Sokka as someone who’d kiss and tell, <em> especially </em>not to his sort-of ex. (His brain, unhelpful as always, reminds him that Sokka called him “buddy”, so what the hell does he know?)</p><p>“I see,” he says slowly.</p><p>“It was stupid, but…thank you.”</p><p><em> Thank you? </em>“Wait, what?”</p><p>Suki frowns. “You saved his life, idiot.”</p><p>“I—“ Zuko pauses, trying and failing to untangle the confusion fogging his brain. “What do you think we’re talking about?”</p><p>“Your self-sacrificing fire breath bullshit. Why, what do <em> you </em>think we’re talking about?”</p><p>“Nothing!” Zuko says quickly.</p><p>Suki eyes him carefully; if she catches his lie, she at least has the tact not to mention it (yet another stark difference between her and a certain earthbending master).</p><p>“You scared the shit out of us, you know.” Suki shifts closer, bumping her shoulder gently against his. “Chit Sang said your chi felt all off.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, my chi can get over it,” Zuko says; he’s mid-eye-roll when the kindhearted exasperation freezes on his face. “Wait, why aren’t you escaping?”</p><p>Suki shrugs. “Sokka said his dad might be here, and I wasn’t about to leave you here unguarded.”</p><p>“I can take care of myself.”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Suki says, utterly unconvinced. “Why don’t you try that line again when you can actually stand up on your own?”</p><p>Zuko flushes. “Point taken.”</p><p>“Besides, Chit Sang was planning to take his girlfriend with us in the cooler; I’ve known her for a grand total of five minutes, and I think if we were trapped in a small space together, I would kill everyone and then myself.”</p><p>“I like the way you think, Suki.”</p><p>She smiles. “Thanks. Y’know, for an angry guy who attacked my village, you’re not half bad.”</p><p>“I’m honored.”</p><p>They relax back against the wall, Suki warding off any would-be hecklers with an icy glare as Zuko continues to stoke his chi back to normal. They only sit up at the sound of a commotion in the center of the yard.</p><p><em> Probably just more power-drunk guards preying on prisoners</em>, Zuko thinks. While he’d never turn down the opportunity to watch a real fight, the few squabbles he’s seen here so far have been nothing short of petty and unfair.</p><p>“Line ‘em up for the warden!”</p><p>The other inmates apparently have a similar fascination with morbidity, and the sudden quiet allows for the guard’s order to echo. Suki, he notices, is also staring, though her gaze is slightly to the left. Zuko follows it to a shorter guard, leaning up on his tip-toes with his mouth twisted in concentration.</p><p>
  <em> Sokka. </em>
</p><p>“Welcome to the Boiling Rock.” The warden’s voice is slimy, and Zuko does his best to ignore him as he tries to assess the new prisoners. His view is fairly limited from where he’s still stuck on the ground, and he gestures for Suki to take a closer look.</p><p>“I’ll be fine,” he whispers. “Just let me know what you see.”</p><p>Suki nods, then silently slips into the crowd.</p><p>“I'm sure you've all heard the horrible rumors about our little island. Well, I just want to tell you that they don't have to be true, as long as you do everything I say.” He imagines the warden pacing as he speaks, no doubt getting off on the sound of his own voice.</p><p>The rhythmic thudding of his steel-toed boots comes to an abrupt halt.</p><p>“You,” he snaps; Zuko can only assume he’s stopped in front of some unfortunate soul. “Look me in the eye when I’m talking to you.”</p><p>The sheer indignation of someone to disrespect their superior like that is something most Fire Nation children have instilled in them since birth—Zuko knew to look his father in the eye when spoken to before he could even read.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Zuko winces; he knows all too well the violence that’s bound to follow.</p><p>“Oh?” the warden says, voice laced with something dangerous. “You’d rather look at my shoes? Then take a fucking <em> look</em>!”</p><p>There’s a clash, and Zuko manages to see the prisoner dragged to the ground through the gaps in people’s legs. The warden has his boot placed firmly atop his handcuffs, forcing the other man to fall to his knees.</p><p>“I know exactly who you are, ‘<em>Chief</em>’ Hakoda of the Water Tribe,” the warden says, sneering out the title. “So strong-willed.”</p><p>
  <em> Chief Hakoda...Sokka had said his father was the chief, right? So maybe... </em>
</p><p>“But don't worry,” the warden continues, “We'll get rid of that in time. Now look me in the eye!”</p><p>He finishes his order and drags his foot back even further, pulling Hakoda into a full kowtow. Zuko prays the man has enough common sense to obey, if only to spare Sokka the pain of seeing his (maybe) father get the shit kicked out of him.</p><p>“See, isn’t that better?” The eerie calm suddenly permeating the warden’s voice is somehow worse than the rage.</p><p>“Let this be a lesson!” he says, raising his voice for even those in the corner of the yard to hear. “You will all do as I say or pay the price. You will all—“</p><p>He’s cut off by a strangled yelp and the thud of his body hitting the floor. Had the man—had <em> Hakoda</em>—tripped him?</p><p>Zuko holds his breath as a guard steps in.</p><p>“Sir, are you alright?”</p><p>“I’m fine!” the warden snaps, rising to his feet in a huff. “Now get these fucking prisoners out of my sight!”</p><p>As the line of inmates files inside, Suki makes her way back towards Zuko.</p><p>“Hey,” she says, lowering herself into a squat. “How much of that did you catch?”</p><p>“A lot. Suki, <em> please </em>tell me that Hakoda guy isn’t—“</p><p>“Sokka’s dad?” Suki cuts him off, grinning.</p><p>Zuko groans. “Do you know how <em> impossible </em>it’s going to be to get him out now that he’s pulled a stunt like that?”</p><p>“You don’t get to talk about stunts, Mr. Hypothermia.”</p><p>“I didn’t have hypothermia,” Zuko mutters.</p><p>“Uh huh,” Suki says, “You just keep telling yourself that. And besides, you know Sokka would have done the same thing in his position.”</p><p>Zuko sighs. “I know. That’s what I’m afraid of.”</p><p>“You know what they say: like father, like son.” Suki elbows him, trying for a joke, and it only takes a moment of very pointed silence on Zuko’s part before she realizes the implications of her words. “Shit, I didn’t mean—“</p><p>“It’s okay,” Zuko says. “Let’s just go find Sokka.”</p><p>Suki looks unsure, but stands and offers Zuko her hand. He grabs it, and she pulls him to his feet in another impressive feat of strength. He realizes that, if it wasn’t for the need of Chit Sang’s bending, she probably could have carried him out of the cooler herself. (He wouldn’t put it past her to carry Sokka at the same time, too.)</p><p>“Thanks,” he says, standing still for a moment and attempting to find his balance. He feels less fatigued after spending time in the sun, but his legs are made of the same wobbly jelly that used to be a source of major embarrassment at ports after long months at sea.</p><p>Suki appears to be assessing his risk of fainting, but he must pass whatever her test is, because she squeezes his hand once and then lets it go. (The other, more likely option is that Suki’s standards are unbelievably low, and Zuko meets them simply by being conscious.)</p><p>“Come on,” she says, nodding in the direction of the entrance indoors. “We’ve got mealtime soon, and Sokka said he wanted to meet up before then.”</p><p>“What? When?”</p><p>“While you were getting your beauty sleep.”</p><p>Zuko flushes. “Shut up.”</p><p>“Yeesh, someone’s angry,” Suki teases, pushing the door open with her shoulder.</p><p>“I’m not—!” Zuko grimaces at the sound of his voice. He tries again, softer. “I’m not angry.”</p><p>“Sure you aren’t,” Suki replies. “You’re about to be, though, when you see what’s on the menu for dinner.”</p><p>“Do I even want to know?”</p><p>Suki shoots him an incredibly amused grin. “It’s Tuesday. That means it’s Cabbage Night.”</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“You know, the Earth Kingdom’s finest. Cabbage soup, cabbage noodles—the whole shebang.”</p><p>The smirk on Suki’s face is blinding. Zuko groans, digging his heels into the floor.</p><p>“Any chance you’ll let me firebend at you so I can go back to the cooler?”</p><p>Suki, much to his disappointment, declines his offer, opting instead to tell him exactly where he can shove his cabbage cookie as she tugs him down the hall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>suki &amp; zuko’s friendship is mlm/wlw solidarity change my mind</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. cabbage soup</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Oh, fuck me,” Zuko mutters.</p><p>“Prince Zuko.” A tray slams down on the table across from him, soup sloshing onto the aluminum countertop.</p><p>Zuko forces himself to meet his gaze. (“Always look your superior in the eye when they’re talking to you.”)</p><p>“Chief Hakoda, sir.”</p><p>or: zuko hates cabbages and has daddy issues for days</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>pour one out for the cabbage man</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I can’t believe Sokka stood us up.”</p><p>Suki snorts from her place in line behind Zuko. “You’re making it sound like a date.”</p><p>“No I’m not!”</p><p>He refuses to give Suki the satisfaction of seeing him blush, instead turning to watch the inmate on kitchen duty ladle a disgusting green stew into his bowl. She makes sure to maintain eye contact with him as she spits into the broth before handing it overtop the metal divider between them.</p><p>“Thanks,” he mutters, grabbing the dish and turning away. The cook murmurs something he can’t quite make out—his bad ear now faces her—but he’s sure it isn’t exactly complimentary.</p><p>“Just ignore them,” Suki says once she has her own food.</p><p>“I’m trying to,” he replies. “It would be a lot easier if people could just <em> mind their own fucking business</em>.”</p><p>All he receives is more glares—he honestly doesn’t know why he expected anything different.</p><p>Suki lays a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, using the contact to usher him towards a mostly-empty table. The one perk of being the Boiling Rock’s least favorite prisoner, it seems, is that everyone tends to avoid him (when they’re not trying to beat him up, that is). So when he and Suki sit at the far end of a bolted-down metal bench, they find they can actually discuss their nonexistent plan without any would-be Chit Sang’s happening to overhear.</p><p>“Ugh,” Zuko groans. “How does Sokka <em> do </em>this?”</p><p>Suki shrugs. “He doesn’t call himself the Plan Guy for nothing.”</p><p>“He also calls himself the Strongest Man Alive.”</p><p>“Fair point. That boy is <em> way </em>too into his muscles.”</p><p>“What muscles?”</p><p>Suki snorts into her soup; Zuko still hasn’t psyched himself up enough to even try it yet.</p><p>“This shit looks nasty.”</p><p>“I’m sorry that prison food doesn’t hold up to your royal tastes, Your Highness.”</p><p>Zuko splutters. “That’s not what I meant!”</p><p>“I know. But if you close your eyes,” Suki pauses to demonstrate, “It’s not half bad.”</p><p>“I think someone would shank me if I closed my eyes.”</p><p>“Just eat the soup, asshole.”</p><p>Grumbling, Zuko picks up his spoon, using it to poke at a cabbage leaf floating in the broth. “Are you sure this is edible?”</p><p>“<em>Zuko.</em>”</p><p>“Alright, alright, I’ll eat it. Sheesh.”</p><p>Tentatively, he dips his spoon into the soup, trying his best to ignore the nauseating smell as he lifts it to his lips. Then, before he can second-guess it, he shoves the stew into his mouth. He nearly gags, but forces himself to swallow.</p><p>It is, as expected, utterly disgusting. But it’s also sustenance, and once his already food-deprived body recognizes this, it urges him to continue.</p><p>“See?” Suki says, slurping up a wiry green noodle.</p><p>“I used up a lot of energy earlier!”</p><p>“If you say so.”</p><p>“You were literally just saying earlier that—“ Zuko freezes, mouth still agape, the half-chewed remnants of his so-called cabbage cookie heavy on the back of his tongue.</p><p>“What?” Suki asks.</p><p>Zuko swallows thickly, clenching his jaw as he locks eyes with the large man now standing in the doorway of the cafeteria. He’s tall, features in a scowl as he stares at Zuko.</p><p>He only breaks eye contact when a guard shoves him towards the food counter, and even then Zuko swears he’s staring at him through the back of his head—his head, which is adorned with a wolf tail and blue beads.</p><p>“Suki,” he says slowly, “Is that…?”</p><p>Suki follows his gaze, no doubt taking in his eerily familiar appearance and the raw redness around his wrists. She nods. “It’s him.”</p><p>Hakoda, as though hearing them from the other side of the room, once again looks to Zuko. Then, food tray in hand, heads towards their table.</p><p>“Oh, fuck me,” Zuko mutters.</p><p>Suki is quick to reassure him. “Hey, we’re on the same side now, right?”</p><p>Zuko nods, trying to hide the fear undoubtedly in his eyes.</p><p>“Prince Zuko.” A tray slams down on the table across from him, soup sloshing onto the aluminum countertop.</p><p>Zuko forces himself to meet his gaze. (“<em>Always look your superior in the eye when they’re talking to you.”</em>)</p><p>“Chief Hakoda, sir.” He dips his head into a slight bow.</p><p>The man’s gaze is steely, blue eyes—so much like Sokka’s—boring into him with a sort of sick fascination.</p><p>“You know of me?”</p><p>Zuko frowns. “Of course. You’re Sokka’s father.”</p><p>Hakoda’s eyes harden. “And you’re the one who chased my children around the world.”</p><p>Zuko gulps, glancing over to Suki. This was <em> not </em>how he saw this conversation going.</p><p>“Did...um, did Sokka send you?”</p><p>Maybe Hakoda is just a naturally cold person; his own father certainly is. Hopefully he isn’t cold enough to turn down Zuko’s help.</p><p>“Why in La’s name would Sokka be here? Did you lock him up, too?”</p><p>Zuko feels utterly lost with the conversation. Is he missing something?</p><p>His confusion must be evident, because Hakoda plows onward. “No, when I heard the Fire Lord’s son was in prison, I figured I would pay him a...<em> personal visit.”</em></p><p>It’s then that Suki jumps in. “I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding.”</p><p>Hakoda turns, distrust in his eyes as he sizes Suki up. “And who might you be?”</p><p>“I’m the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors.”</p><p>Hakoda doesn’t respond.</p><p>“We’re friends of Sokka’s.”</p><p>Zuko curses the way his heart aches at the word “friends.”</p><p>“My son? Friends with his enemy and a <em> Fire Nation sympathizer</em>? I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Sir, if I may.” Zuko can’t help but flinch when Hakoda’s glare is once again trained on him. “I know I’ve made mistakes in the past, but I promise you I’ve changed.”</p><p>He lowers his voice, checking for any potential eavesdroppers before continuing. “I’m helping to train the Avatar in firebending.”</p><p>And Hakoda...Hakoda <em> laughs.</em></p><p>Zuko bristles. “Listen, you don’t have to like me, but please believe me when I say that I’m here to help get you out of here.”</p><p>“Sokka, too,” Suki adds, her voice barely a whisper. “He’s undercover as a guard.”</p><p>Hakoda purses his lips. “That does sound like something my son would do. What did you say your name was, young lady?”</p><p>“Suki,” she says, holding her hand out.</p><p>Hakoda takes it, gripping her elbow as she wraps her own fingers around his. They shake once. “Huh. Water Tribe greeting.”</p><p>Suki smiles. “Sokka is very...enthusiastic about his traditions.”</p><p>Hakoda perks up, and his eyes widen with sudden understanding. “Wait, you’re Suki? <em> The </em>Suki?”</p><p>“That depends on what you’ve heard about me.”</p><p>“Nothing bad,” Hakoda assures. “My son is...very fond of you.”</p><p>The implication of his words is clear even to someone as socially inept as Zuko. He looks down at his half-eaten food, his former appetite all but gone.</p><p>“Thank you, but we’re just friends.”</p><p>Even though it isn’t exactly news to him, Zuko still feels slightly better. The momentary peace wilts as soon as Hakoda turns back to look at him.</p><p>“Even if you’re telling the truth, I still don’t think I can trust you.”</p><p>Zuko shrugs. “I’d be surprised if you did.”</p><p>“Hmm.” Hakoda’s eyes scan over his face, lingering—as most did—on his scar.</p><p>He seems like he wants to say something else, maybe ask the Agni-forsaken question that seemed to be on the tip of everybody’s tongues, but decides against it. Instead, he turns his attention to his food, somehow not put-off by the freakish color. Zuko’s pretty sure he’ll lose what little he’s eaten if he tries to finish his plate, and he pushes his tray across the table to Suki. She frowns at him, but when he shakes his head, she digs in with a shrug.</p><p><em> Suki was right, </em>he thinks, as he counts down the minutes until they’ll be released from the cafeteria. He really does hate Cabbage Night.</p><hr/><p>Zuko never thought he’d be grateful to be in a cell. Sure, it’s cold, and the mattress is lumpy, and it’s infuriatingly boring; but it’s still somehow better than the nightmarish dinner that somehow managed to be <em> more </em> unsettling than those of his childhood.</p><p>Not for the first time, he curses his past self for taking his bed in the palace for granted.</p><p>“Zuko?”</p><p>Zuko sits up in a flash, a small flame flickering into existence in his palm. It may get him thrown back in the cooler, but it still beats getting attacked in the dark. “Who’s there?”</p><p>A guard enters his cell, carefully closing the door behind him. The armor reflects his flame, which begins to grow as the figure approaches.</p><p>“Hey, easy, it’s just me.” The guard pulls his helmet off, allowing the fire to illuminate his face.</p><p>“Sokka,” Zuko breathes, closing his fist to extinguish the light. “Fuck, you scared the shit out of me.”</p><p>“Er, sorry.” He moves closer to Zuko, ducking down to take a seat on the bed beside him. This close, he can faintly make out the lines of his face in the low light in the hall. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”</p><p>“I’m fine, see?” He takes Sokka’s hand and places it on top of his own. “All warm now.”</p><p>Sokka doesn’t take his hand back, instead wrapping his fingers around it. Slowly, he lifts it up towards him, shifting his wrist so that their palms touch. Then, ever so gently, he places a kiss on Zuko’s knuckles.</p><p>Zuko’s heart stutters.</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that for me,” Sokka says. He lets their hands drop, but keeps their fingers intertwined.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Suki already lectured me about it.”</p><p>Sokka smirks before his expression shifts into one of uncertainty. It’s odd; he doesn’t think he’s seen Sokka look anything but confident. “Can I...Zuko, can I kiss you again?”</p><p>Zuko sucks in a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”</p><p>The air freezes in his lungs as Sokka leans toward him, and Zuko shifts on the bed to meet his lips. He feels, for the first time, like he can <em> breathe, </em>and he presses closer to Sokka, mouth more insistent. It’s intoxicating, and when Sokka bites down lightly on his bottom lip, Zuko feels like he’s on fire.</p><p>He very well may be, and he pulls away for a moment to breathe and make sure his hands aren’t actually smoldering.</p><p>Sokka’s looking at him with something akin to fondness, and Zuko thinks he might spontaneously combust.</p><p>“I talked to my dad earlier. I can’t believe he’s actually here!”</p><p>Zuko’s smile, once genuine, suddenly feels all too forced. “I’m glad we stayed, then.”</p><p>“Yeah. He said he saw you guys at dinner.”</p><p>Zuko shifts a bit further away.</p><p>“I’m sorry if he said anything. He’s a really good guy, I promise!”</p><p>His cheeks are starting to ache. “I’m sure he is.”</p><p>“Sorry I blew you guys off earlier. The warden kinda caught Chit Sang.”</p><p>“Shit, really?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Sokka looks genuinely remorseful.</p><p>“Guess I got thrown in cooler for nothing, huh.” He’s trying for a joke, but Sokka’s expression remains oddly serious.</p><p>“I mean, I wouldn’t say it was all for nothing…”</p><p>Zuko’s mouth goes dry. “Oh.”</p><p>“Anyways, uh, I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I went back to plan with Dad.”</p><p><em> Sokka chose me over him,</em> he realizes. He feels sick.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me,” he says quickly. “Just focus on getting your father out of here.”</p><p>Because if there’s one thing Zuko absolutely will not do, it’s drive a wedge between father and son.</p><p>Sokka looks unsure, but slowly nods. “Right. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”</p><p>Zuko nods. He hates the look of hurt on Sokka’s face, especially when it becomes apparent that Zuko will not be offering any more physical affection.</p><p>Sokka stands awkwardly, fitting his helmet back on. “Good night.”</p><p>Zuko moves to lay down; the scratchy fabric beneath them is still warm from Sokka’s body heat. “Night.”</p><p>He rolls over onto his side, facing the wall. The silence is suffocating, and it only makes the sound of Sokka leaving louder. It’s okay, though; what really matters is that Sokka is going to see Hakoda, and Zuko <em> refuses </em>to fuck that up for him. </p><p>So even if it hurts Sokka—though Zuko sincerely doubts it does—Zuko will keep his distance. It’s for the greater good.</p><p>Sighing, Zuko buries his head in his pillow and tries to summon sleep that he knows won’t come.</p><p>
  <em> Like father, like son. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>....sorry?</p><p>in all fairness to hakoda i too would be suspicious of someone who hunted my hypothetical children for months</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. truth hurts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“What the hell is this?” he snaps. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”</p><p>“Come on, we all know that’s a lie.”</p><p>He jolts. He knows that voice; he’d know that voice anywhere.</p><p>“Mai?”</p><p>“Hello, Zuko.”</p><p>or: zuko’s past catches up to him</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>warning for internalized homophobia and implied/referenced abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko rises with the sun.</p><p>He can’t remember the last time he slept past dawn, if ever; even the first few days on his ship, bloodied and feverish, his chi forced him into painful consciousness as soon as Agni’s rays crested the horizon.</p><p>He’d tried explaining it to Aang once, in an attempt to get him to stop complaining about sunrise meditations.</p><p><em> “It’s an integral part of being a firebender,” </em> he’d explained.</p><p>He didn’t mention that his internal alarm clock was the only thing keeping him from toppling fully into insanity when he’d lost his bending.</p><p><em> “Not lost, just redirected,” </em>Aang had said later, as they returned from what Toph dubbed their ‘life-changing field trip.’ <em> “Speaking of redirecting: when are you going to teach me to redirect lightning?” </em></p><p>Zuko feels that familiar pull in his gut, now, dragging him into wakefulness despite the lack of any actual light in his cell. He blinks away the remnants of sleep, half-remembered dreams of <em> lips and frost and cold blue eyes </em>slipping away.</p><p>Sighing, Zuko slips out of bed, folding himself into a lotus position on the floor. He doubts Boiling Rock serves breakfast, and he has no idea how long it will be until he’s able to leave his cell. So, without anything better to do, Zuko meditates.</p><p>The urge to conjure a flame to breathe with is strong, but his aversion to getting thrown back into the cooler is stronger. Instead, he closes his eyes and imagines his inner flame, breathing deeply and attempting to center himself.</p><p>Though he tries to keep his mind blank, his thoughts return to Sokka. He hopes he’s okay. He hopes he and his father have managed to come up with a plan.</p><p>He hopes he hasn’t forgotten about him here, alone in his cell.</p><p><em> Quit panicking</em>, he chides himself. <em> You trust Sokka, so give him time to do what he needs to do. </em></p><p>Unfortunately, it’s not too difficult to imagine Sokka making a run for it with his father and Suki. Surely Hakoda said something to him last night, talked some sense into Sokka about the dangers of recruiting a former enemy.</p><p>He can’t get rid of the image of Hakoda’s mirthless eyes boring into him, nauseated by the mere thought of his son and Zuko being friends, or even allies (let alone something <em> more)</em>.</p><p>Soon, it’s not Hakoda’s glare, but that of his own father—his own father who, if he had any inkling of an idea of the desires swirling around in Zuko’s head, would surely smite him on the spot.</p><p>“Hey, Zuko, are you there?”</p><p>Zuko startles, snapping out of his haze. He isn’t sure how long he spent begging his brain to <em> please shut up, </em>but the braziers in the hallway are now lit; their reflection sparkles in Sokka’s eyes.</p><p>He knows he shouldn’t be surprised that Sokka came—he’s never been anything but trustworthy—but the sound of Sokka’s voice still fills him with an overwhelming sense of relief, freeing him from a tension he didn’t know he was holding.</p><p>He stands and walks to the door, peering through the small window and meeting Sokka’s eyes. “Where else would I be?”</p><p>Sokka chuckles. “Smartass. Look, I just got done talking to my dad, and we came up with an escape plan together.”</p><p>Here it comes: the part where Sokka says “it’s not you, it’s me,” and “sorry, but we’re going to have to leave you behind.” <em> As long as they take Suki with them, </em> Zuko thinks, <em> it’ll be alright. </em></p><p>He opens his mouth to say as much—Sokka doesn’t need to try to come up with excuses for his sake—but is interrupted by the voice of another guard in the hallway.</p><p>“Hey, what are you doing here?”</p><p>Zuko winces as Sokka’s eyes widen. “Uh,” he stammers, “I was just trying to tell this dirty lowlife what I think of him!”</p><p>Coming from the same guy who said they were “hatching an egg” the day before, it’s a surprisingly convincing lie. (Unless it <em> isn’t </em>a lie, and Sokka really is about to rip into him.)</p><p>“Well, you'll have to do that later. He's coming with us.”</p><p>Sokka’s replies with Zuko’s thoughts exactly: “Why?”</p><p>Another guard sighs. “Because we have orders straight from the warden, that's why!”</p><p>The new guard sounds exactly like the woman who got him thrown in this cell to begin with. <em> Just his luck.</em></p><p>“Could I just get ten more seconds to rough him up a bit?” Sokka asks.</p><p>“Fine, ten seconds.” The guard doesn’t seem all that bothered, and Zuko winces as he remembers that same voice sneering way too close to his face.</p><p>Sokka nods, then pushes open the door to Zuko’s cell and steps inside. Zuko is half-convinced Sokka really <em> is </em>going to start throwing punches, but he tosses Zuko’s pillow at him instead.</p><p>He catches it, frowning.</p><p>“Here,” Sokka says softly, gently guiding Zuko’s wrists upwards so that the pillow is squarely in front of his chest.</p><p>It’s only after Zuko has a firm grip on it that Sokka thrusts his fist forward into the pillow. “Take that! And this!”</p><p>He punctuates his words with punches, raising his eyebrows as if to urge Zuko to play along. Zuko rolls his eyes, but tries to time some equally exaggerated grunts with the rhythm of Sokka’s fists.</p><p>The groans must be a bit too similar to certain...other noises, because Sokka’s face turns bright red. (Personally, Zuko just thinks he sounds constipated.)</p><p>Shaking his head as if to banish any unsavory thoughts, Sokka leans forward to whisper, “We have a new plan, but it's gonna need a big distraction. Be in the yard in one hour.”</p><p>Zuko nods, then jolts as the door begins to creak open. He quickly tosses the pillow back onto his bed, pulling Sokka towards him and contorting himself into a bizarre sort of headlock beneath Sokka’s arm.</p><p>Sokka looks dazed for a moment, but quickly snaps out of it as the guard from before enters. He makes a show of trying to wrestle Zuko even as the guard separates them, wrenching Zuko away and cuffing his hands in front of him.</p><p>“All right, that’s enough,” the guard says, grabbing the chain between Zuko’s wrists and dragging him into the corridor. “Get a move on.”</p><p>Zuko tries to buck out of her grip—he’s starting to develop a sickening case of deja vu that he <em> really </em>doesn’t want to repeat—but the second guard holds up a hand menacingly.</p><p>Zuko would keep fighting—another hit would be far from the worst thing he’s endured—but unlike the woman, this guard is a firebender. So when he summons flames far too close to Zuko’s face for his liking, he can’t help but shrink back.</p><p>The guard scoffs, extinguishing his fist. “Thought so.”</p><p>He tries to look back at Sokka, but he’s jerked forward before he can even turn his head all the way.</p><p>“What are you doing? Where are you taking me?”</p><p>He’s disappointed by the lack of response, but not exactly surprised. He <em> is </em>shocked when he’s led not to the warden’s office, but to what looks like an interrogation room.</p><p>Wordlessly, the guards uncuff him and shove him into the large chair in the center of the floor.</p><p>“What the hell is this?” he snaps. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”</p><p>“Come on, we all know that’s a lie.”</p><p>He jolts. He knows that voice; he’d know that voice <em> anywhere</em>.</p><p>“Mai?”</p><p>“Hello, Zuko.”</p><p>It’s a shock seeing her again, even though he’d left her not even a month ago.</p><p>Her dark hair, while still combed to perfection, seems to lack its usual luster; and her make-up, though expertly applied, does little to hide the bags under her eyes.</p><p>It’s strange to see her like this, her impassive mask beginning to crack. It somehow feels more intimate than the night they shared together upon his return to the Caldera, though his exhaustion and relief at finally being home (not his lack of attraction, <em> not </em> because he liked someone else, <em> not </em> because her exposed skin didn’t send the thrill through him that he <em> knew </em>it should) meant they didn’t get very far.</p><p>Before his homecoming, Zuko hadn’t seen Mai since the day of the Agni Kai— the day that his father branded an end to his childhood and threw him to the wolves. He’d wondered, those first few months at sea, in the sparse moments between heaving his guts over the side of the <em> Wani </em> and hunting down the Avatar (<em>hunting down a fairy tale</em>), if Mai ever thought about him. If she ever missed him.</p><p>He’d wondered, staring at the patchwork of mottled flesh still healing around an eye that only saw in shades of shadows, if she’d still want him back when (<em>if) </em>he came back home.</p><p>“Leave us,” Mai says, shooing the guards out of the room. She waits until they exit—though one remains in the doorway, keeping watch of the hall—before she approaches Zuko.</p><p>Her gaze drags over him, and he does his best not to shudder at her scrutiny.</p><p>“How did you know I was here?” he finally asks, the silence becoming suffocating.</p><p>“Because I know you so well.”</p><p>Zuko bites back a reply that no, she really doesn’t. “But how-“</p><p>“The warden’s my uncle, you idiot,” Mai says, rolling her eyes.</p><p>Her monotone voice grates on him, and he has to force down the same, familiar anger that reared its head on their last night at Ember Island.</p><p>“But the truth is, I guess I don’t know you.” Mai moves closer, and Zuko can’t help shrinking back in his seat. “All I get is a stupid letter?”</p><p>She shakes the offending paper in his face. “‘Dear Mai’,” she reads, “‘I'm sorry that you have to find out this way, but I'm leaving.’”</p><p>“Stop!” Zuko interrupts; he doesn’t need yet another mistake thrown in his face. “This isn’t about you.”</p><p>“Oh, I know,” Mai says. “It was never about me.”</p><p>Zuko frowns. “Mai, I’m doing this for the Fire Nation. For our <em> people.” </em></p><p>“Really? Because I thought it was for that Water Tribe—“</p><p>“Shut up!” Zuko can barely hear himself over the sudden rushing of blood in his ears. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“I’m not blind, asshole. Do you know how many times you talked about him and his fucking boomerang?”</p><p>“I was telling you about hunting the Avatar!”</p><p>Mai takes another step towards him, undeterred by the fierce glare he shoots her way. “I know you never liked me, Zuko. Not like that—not like <em> him.</em>”</p><p>Zuko pointedly chooses to ignore the second part of her accusation. “You’re my friend!”</p><p>Mai scoffs, crumpling the letter in her fist. “Do you even hear yourself? Maybe we were friends, once. Maybe that’s all we’ve ever been.”</p><p>“You know I care about you—“</p><p>“If you cared,” Mai says, voice low, “you wouldn’t have broken up with me in a fucking letter.”</p><p>“I told you, it’s about the war and—“</p><p>“If you cared,” she continues, unrelenting, “you wouldn’t have pretended to love me in the first place.”</p><p>Zuko snaps his mouth shut so fast it hurts his jaw. Because, really, what the fuck is he supposed to say? Does he deny it, pledge his undying affection? Does he give his whole “it’s not you, it’s the war” spiel again?</p><p>He realizes now, looking at Mai, that the love—if he could even call it that—he shares with her is that of brother and sister; that sibling-bound sense of protectiveness that he fails to share with his own flesh and blood. He knows Mai used to harbor feelings towards him—real, mushy, feelings, though she hid them well. He thought, maybe, he liked her that way too. But they were children, then, awkward and prepubescent and existing in a fantasy world within the palace walls.</p><p>“I’m not mad,” Mai says softly. </p><p>
  <em> Yeah, right. </em>
</p><p>“I just wish you’d tell me the truth.”</p><p>Something inside him <em> snaps, </em>and he can no longer hold back his anger.</p><p>“The truth? You want the fucking truth?” He’s mad, now, drenched in the same fury that stoked his inner fire for three long, long years. “You don’t get it. You’ll never fucking <em> get it</em>. You don’t know what it’s like to—to love someone and know you can never, <em> ever </em>have them!”</p><p>“You think I don’t get it? You think—“</p><p>“I <em> know </em>you don’t!” he shouts. “You don’t have to act like you cared when I left, because we both know that’s a fucking lie.”</p><p>“This isn’t about you, Zuko!”</p><p>Zuko realizes, through the angry haze clouding his head, that this is the first time he’s ever heard Mai yell.</p><p>“What are you…” He trails off, wracking his brain.</p><p>He thinks about his shoddy attempt at a romantic picnic, about the way her lips found his when Azula came to harass them only to quickly fall away when Ty Lee came bounding up behind her.</p><p>He thinks about their trip to Ember Island, about Mai’s glower at the beach—not at the sun or the mere thought of existence, he realizes, but at the gaggle of teenage boys fawning over Ty Lee.</p><p>He thinks about her glare at the shittiest house party in the history of mankind, about how her eyes were never, <em> ever </em>trained on him.</p><p>“Ty Lee,” he whispers.</p><p>Mai hangs her head.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he rasps. “I didn’t know.”</p><p>Mai looks like she wants to say something—confess? Reject his apology? Berate him?—but is interrupted by the clanging of a guard fumbling into the room.</p><p>“Ma’am!” he says, breathing heavily, “there’s a riot going on! I’m here to protect you!”</p><p>“I don’t need any protection,” Mai scoffs.</p><p>Zuko can’t help his snort. “Believe me, she doesn’t.”</p><p>“I'm sorry, but I'm under direct orders from your uncle to make sure nothing happens.”</p><p>Zuko’s eyes meet Mai’s. For once, it feels like they actually <em> see </em>each other.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he says again, quieter this time. Whether it’s for their earlier conversation or what he’s about to do, he isn’t sure.</p><p>With a grunt, Zuko shoots a blast of fire at the guard, who quickly jumps to shield Mai. It’s almost laughably easy to push past him and sprint towards the open door.</p><p>He hears Mai snap at the guard to get off of her, and the sound of her footsteps quickly trailing behind his. He manages to make it out of the cell before she reaches him, closing and locking the door behind him.</p><p>He winces at the sound of Mai’s momentum carrying her into the metal, and meets her gaze through the small slit in the door.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Mai, but I have to do this.”</p><p>She gives the slightest of nods, almost imperceptible. “I know,” she whispers.</p><p>Zuko offers her one last small smile, one last glance overflowing with regret, and takes off towards the prison yard.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>nothing but love for my girl mai </p><p>ik i didnt tag this work as mai/ty lee but this (potential) relationship isnt rly part of the main plot, more just helping zuko along the way with his emotions</p><p>(not hating on mai/zuko i just think they’re better as friends) (and that mai deserves better than that random dude from the comics lol)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. the gondola</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“That’s some girlfriend, Sokka,” Hakoda huffs, a hint of pride in his eyes.</p><p>Zuko looks away, suddenly extremely fascinated by Suki’s innovative headband usage.</p><p>“She’s not my—whatever, let’s just get out of here.”</p><p>or: it’s finally time to blow this popsicle stand</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>there was no good place to split this so this bad boy is a bit longer</p><p>warning for referenced abuse &amp; internalized homophobia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s not exactly sure what Sokka did, but the yard is in full-blown chaos by the time Zuko reaches it. The guard hadn’t been kidding about the riot; the inmates are raging, both at the guards and each other. It takes an impressive amount of maneuverability on Zuko’s part to avoid getting caught in the crossfire—literally.</p><p>He finally spots Sokka in the crowd—well, more accurately, he spots Chit Sang, who’s undoubtedly wormed his way into this “egg” too, standing next to him—and hurries over. He shoves a few guards out of the way as he runs; it’s incredibly satisfying.</p><p>“Zuko!” Sokka calls, waving at him as he closes the rest of the distance between them. “Okay, good, we’re all here. Now all we need to do is grab the warden and get to the gondolas!”</p><p>“<em>That’s </em>the plan?” Zuko all but shouts; he’s had a long day, okay?</p><p>Hakoda’s displeased glower has him scrambling to rephrase. “I mean, uh, how do we do that?”</p><p>Sokka opens his mouth, then closes it, frowning. “I’m not sure.”</p><p>At this, Zuko can’t stop himself from groaning, Hakoda’s stink eye be damned. “I thought you thought this through!”</p><p>“I thought you told me it's okay not to think everything through!”</p><p>The expression on Sokka’s face is such a strange contortion of fear and indignation that Zuko can only sigh and hang his head. “Maybe not everything, but this is kind of important.”</p><p>Sokka looks <em> crushed</em>, and it tugs at Zuko’s heart way more than it should.</p><p>“Hey, uh, fellas? I think your girlfriend’s taking care of it.”</p><p>Chit Sang holds out his hand to point to Suki quite literally hopping over people’s heads in the direction of the watchtower. She hoists herself up to the balcony with graceful acrobatics that could give Ty Lee a run for her money, dodging the stunned guards and incapacitating the warden.</p><p>Even from far away, the man looks like he’s having an aneurysm.</p><p>“Come on!” Sokka waves them towards the watchtower’s stairs, a formidable five stories that leaves them panting for breath when they reach Suki’s smiling form.</p><p>“That’s some girlfriend, Sokka,” Hakoda huffs, a hint of pride in his eyes.</p><p>Zuko looks away, suddenly extremely fascinated by Suki’s innovative headband usage.</p><p>“She’s not my—whatever, let’s just get out of here.”</p><p>Sokka takes off towards the gondola, the rest of the group close behind (including one very unhappy warden).</p><p>“We’re almost there!” Suki shouts, somehow <em> still </em>not out of breath.</p><p>A guard jumps out as they round a corner, unleashing twin flames from each of his fists.</p><p>“Look out!” Zuko yells, yanking the back of Sokka’s tunic and jumping in front of him. He barely has time to ground himself before throwing up his arms in wide arcs, dispersing the fireballs. Then, inhaling deeply, Zuko punches two blasts back towards their assailant.</p><p>The force of Zuko’s fire leaves the guard fumbling for balance, making it easy for Sokka to shove him out of their path to the gondola.</p><p>“Keep moving!” Chit Sang shouts. He’s stationed himself at the back of the group, protecting their flank from any bending as Zuko does the same in the front.</p><p>
  <em> Huh. Guess their stowaway is useful after all. </em>
</p><p>Hakoda is the first to reach the gondola, grabbing the lone occupant—not a trained guard, if her simple, armor-less outfit is anything to go by—and hauling her out onto the docking bay. The girl falls flat on her butt, wincing at the impact.</p><p>And she is, by all rights, just a girl: eight, maybe nine if she’s lucky. The dark hair cascading over her shoulders does little to mask the baby fat still clinging to her cheeks, the youthful spark in her amber eyes. Her dress, while woven in traditional Fire Nation style, lacks the finesse of a trained tailor; the stitches are softer, and the coloring, while still a patriotic red, is faded.</p><p>She is clearly a child of war, and a child of struggle. She clutches a dirty cleaning rag in her fist like a lifeline, a subservient, humbled fear keeping her back bent low even as she slowly rises to her feet.</p><p>Zuko recognizes the posturing from his own time as a refugee (or, though he prefers to ignore it, his time as a child, however brief it might have been).</p><p>The world has hardened this girl, but not yet managed to break her. He sees his sister in her eyes, back when she had more room for wonder and less for cruelty. He sees himself, young and afraid as his mother leaves him to face his father’s wrath alone.</p><p>The others pay her no mind; Hakoda brushes past her first, simply boarding the gondola as soon as it’s empty. Suki follows, wrangling a struggling warden along with her; Sokka tries to help by lifting the warden’s feet, but decides to leave the task to Chit Sang after getting kicked in the stomach multiple times.</p><p>But Zuko...Zuko can’t let another child get left behind. He can’t leave another Azula alone for his nation’s cruelty to corrupt.</p><p>So Zuko grabs the girl and makes a run for it.</p><p>She begins to thrash as soon as he picks her up, crying for a mother that Zuko isn’t sure even exists. The sound draws the attention of the gondola’s other occupants, each of them staring in a mixture of surprise, horror and, to worsen the sinking feeling in Zuko’s gut, <em> rage</em>.</p><p>“Please,” he says hoarsely, depositing the girl in Sokka’s arms.</p><p>He doesn’t have time to process the sheer confusion on Sokka’s face before he’s running back out to the gondola station, pushing the massive lever nearby and jolting the machinery into motion. He aims a series of sharp kicks at the handle, eventually managing to break it off.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Sokka shouts from the rapidly disappearing gondola.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t reply, distracted by the pounding of boots and hissing of flames as guards begin to surround him. He can barely hear Sokka yelling over the din, the cacophony of noise that sounds all too much like the Agni Kai arena overwhelming as the gondola continues to move further away.</p><p>He realizes, then, with what any sane person would consider a worrisome amount of certainty, that he would much rather drown in the boiling lake below than let his father capture him.</p><p>He jumps.</p><p>The air around him is thick and humid, and steam curls around his body as he falls. Because he is—falling, that is, sinking like the rock perpetually weighing down his heavy heart.</p><p>A hand catches his, and the blaze around him dulls. </p><p>“What the hell were you thinking?” Suki asks, teeth clenched as she holds his weight.</p><p>“Had to make it so they couldn’t stop us,” Zuko wheezes, still trying to process the fact that he <em> hadn’t </em>fallen to his death.</p><p>With Suki’s help, Zuko manages to haul himself over the side of the gondola and into the main compartment. He lands and rolls himself over onto his back with a groan, only heaving in a few breaths before the ringing in his ears gives way to the shouting match taking place.</p><p>“—can’t just take her with us!”</p><p>“Dad, she’s just a kid!”</p><p>“Which is why we’re sending her back to whatever <em> ashmaker </em>down there decided to bring their child to work!”</p><p>“Her parents aren’t guards,” Zuko says, using the railing to pull himself up to stand. “Are they?”</p><p>His question is softer, aimed towards the girl cowering in the corner behind Sokka, who has planted himself between her and his father.</p><p>The girl hesitates for a moment, warily glancing up at Zuko. Her eyes lock onto his scar momentarily, but she lowers her head before he can check for any spark of recognition.</p><p>“No, sir,” she says quietly.</p><p>Hakoda scoffs. “Are you really going to believe her?”</p><p>“Look at her!” Zuko snaps; he hates the way the girl flinches, but it’s the only way to keep Sokka from the landing on the receiving end of his father’s rage. “She’s a servant!”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sure we’re <em> all </em> servants to you, <em> Your Highness,</em>” Hakoda spits.</p><p>Zuko clenches his fists, feeling smoke beginning to rise from them. “What the <em> fuck </em>did you just say to me?”</p><p>He takes a step closer, only to nearly fall on his face as the gondola jerks to a stop.</p><p>“They replaced the lever,” Suki says, peering out at the group of guards surrounding the mechanism. “Oh, Kyoshi help us.”</p><p>“What?” Hakoda asks, anger seemingly put aside for later. “Who in La’s name is that?”</p><p>Zuko’s eyesight may not be the greatest (read: super fucked up), but he’d recognize those blue flames anywhere. “Azula.”</p><p>“And her circus freak friend,” Sokka adds with a groan.</p><p>“Why are all the guards bowing down?” Hakoda asks, hovering just close enough to Zuko’s blind spot that it sets him on edge.</p><p>“Because, Chief Hakoda,” he says, “That’s my sister.”</p><p>Hakoda curses, the swears only getting more creative as Azula grabs a pair of handcuffs to turn the gondola cable into a makeshift zipline. Fire erupts from her feet, propelling her towards them. He spots Ty Lee running across the cable behind her, braid blowing in the wind; it’s almost like she doesn’t realize she’s tightrope-walking over a boiling lake.</p><p>Suki glares at Ty Lee from beside him. “This is a rematch I’ve been waiting for.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko says, watching Azula’s cruel smirk come ever closer, “Me too.”</p><p>Suki climbs onto the top of the gondola, Sokka close behind. Zuko pauses halfway out of the gondola, giving the girl—still hiding in the corner—a smile that he hopes looks more reassured than he feels. “It’s going to be okay,” he says.</p><p>He shoots a glare at Hakoda, the message clear: <em> It better be. </em></p><p>He manages to make it onto the roof just as Azula and Ty Lee land opposite them.</p><p>“Hello, Zuzu,” Azula says. “I see you’ve gone full traitor.”</p><p>Zuko narrows his eyes. “I’m doing what’s right.”</p><p>“What’s right?” Azula laughs, the sound mocking. “How could betraying Father be <em> right</em>?”</p><p>“You know this war needs to end, Azula.” Zuko tries to force his voice to remain even.</p><p>“Oh, it will,” Azula says, eyes narrowing. “Once Father and I burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground, our nation will reign victorious!”</p><p>Suki sucks in a breath.</p><p>Somehow, Azula’s grin manages to widen, showing off more of her perfect, bone-white teeth. “Aww, Zuzu. You didn’t tell your new <em> friends </em> about the plan <em> you </em>came up with?”</p><p>“I didn’t come up with anything!” Zuko shouts, unable to stop his fists from clenching and lighting on fire.</p><p>Azula sighs dramatically. “You never were good at controlling your fire, were you, brother?”</p><p>“Shut up!” Zuko roars, shooting a burst of flames that Azula easily blocks with fire of her own.</p><p>“Yeah!” Suki adds, gaze roaming between Azula and Ty Lee as she hardens into a fighting stance. “Just because he had a training accident doesn’t mean he isn’t a master bender!”</p><p>Zuko has all of two seconds to be confused before the meaning of her words punches him in the gut. It must be obvious, because Azula lets out the same, high-pitched laugh that she always has when he’s in pain.</p><p>“A training accident?” she chides. “Oh, Zuko; what ever happened to that honor you’re always going on about?”</p><p>“Can it, princess!” Sokka says, stepping forward with his sword. “Less talking, more fighting.”</p><p>The smile on Azula’s face is blinding as she summons fire to her hands. “As you wish.”</p><p>Sokka lunges towards her, fending off a blast of fire with his blade. Ty Lee jumps gracefully out of the way, flipping and landing in front of Suki. Her hands fold into the familiar chi-blocking positions that Zuko had been on the receiving end of far too many times growing up.</p><p>Suki matches her blow for blow, eyes narrowed in concentration. Zuko is somehow more impressed with Suki than he already was.</p><p>“Is that a new sword?”</p><p>Azula’s question draws his attention back to her and Sokka, who are similarly going head to head.</p><p>“Yeah, thanks for noticing.”</p><p>Sokka parries her next attack, forcing her to duck out of the way and giving Zuko an opening to shoot more flames at her. She retaliates in kind, the fire blazing hot and wild. He jumps in front of the fire without thinking, Azula’s heat scalding as he shields Sokka from it.</p><p>Azula scoffs as he shakes her flames off of his arm. “Look at you, risking your life for some <em> peasant</em>. What is he, your boyfriend?”</p><p>He knows she’s joking, he <em> knows </em>it. But he freezes nonetheless.</p><p>Azula notices; of <em> course </em>she notices. He can see it in the way her eyes widen almost imperceptibly, the way her fire dims every so slightly.</p><p>“Please,” he whispers.</p><p>He’s stuck, face burning with embarrassment and shame and he’s begging her, beseeching her with his eyes, not even bothering to deny a statement that isn’t technically even true.</p><p>Because true or not, if word about this ever gets back to his father...this is a sin far beyond his subpar bending, or his inability to hold his tongue. This is Zuko at his core, stripped down to a cosmic nothingness more disfigured than his face. It’s a fracture at the subatomic level, an illegal wrongness worthy of a punishment worse than death.</p><p>And Azula...</p><p>
  <em> (Azula, who pushed him out of trees as a child; Azula, who has goaded Zuko into embarrassing himself time and time again; Azula, who never turned down an opportunity to raise Father’s favor of her at Zuko’s expense.) </em>
</p><p>...Azula nods.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t have time to debate whether Azula is lying (<em>Azula always lies, but maybe this time, </em> this time—) because the warden is screaming to cut the line and the gondola is jerking to a halt and Sokka is thrown dangerously close to the edge and Zuko’s vision is tunneling as he dives forward to grab Sokka’s hand before he can slip over the side and all he can think is <em> no, not him</em>.</p><p>He manages to tug Sokka back to balance on solid ground, heart hammering in his chest. Ty Lee jumps onto the wire above them and confirms that the guards are, in fact, cutting the line.</p><p>“Then I guess it’s time to go,” Azula says, signature smirk back on her face. “Goodbye, Zuko.”</p><p>It’s only after she blasts herself to safety on the gondola across from theirs, Ty Lee landing beside her, that Zuko realizes he hasn't let go of Sokka.</p><p>He pulls away quickly, cheeks reddening. He mumbles an apology before climbing back down to warn the others of their imminent doom. Sokka and Suki confirm it with a grim nod of their heads, turning to glare at the warden. It seems Chit Sang decided to just knock him out, and Zuko finds the sight all too satisfying.</p><p>Then he hears the girl gasp. <em> Shit, he forgot about her. </em></p><p>“It’s going to be okay,” he says, praying to Agni that he hasn't signed this child’s death certificate.</p><p>The Sun God, for once, seems to hear him, because the gondola splutters back into motion. He hears guards shouting back at the docking station, hurrying to the back window to get a closer look.</p><p>“Who’s that?” Sokka asks, eyes narrowing.</p><p>Zuko’s jaw drops; he’d recognize those knives anywhere. “Mai.”</p><p>He says her name barely louder than a whisper, as if saying it any louder would sharter what’s surely a mirage. Maybe he <em> did </em>die trying to jump onto the gondola, because what other explanation could there possibly be for Mai to turn on his sister?</p><p>He stares as Azula and Ty Lee rush towards the prison, unable to look away even as the gondola shudders to a stop at the volcano’s outer rim.</p><p>(He’ll learn, later, that Ty Lee risks her own life to save Mai’s. He’ll learn, later, that Ty Lee feels the same way about Mai that Zuko was supposed to.)</p><p>“Hey,” Sokka says, putting a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “We made it.”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t move. He’s not sure he could if he tried.</p><p>“They’re going to kill her,” he says, heart clenching as he sees the telltale blue eruption of Azula’s flames.</p><p>Sokka doesn’t respond, just gives his arm a comforting squeeze. Maybe he knows that trying to convince Zuko otherwise would be a blatant lie.</p><p>“Come on,” he says after a moment. “Let’s ditch this asshole.”</p><p>He jerks his head towards the warden, drooling from where he lies unconscious on the floor.</p><p>Zuko nods slowly, jolting as he feels Sokka quietly slip his hand into his.</p><p>“Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat. “Let’s go.”</p><p>He lets Sokka lead him out of the gondola, sparing the warden a parting glare as he steps over him.</p><p>“Hey, there you are!” Suki says. Her eyes flick to their intertwined fingers, but she looks away just as quickly, apparently unfazed.</p><p>She stands next to the girl, who is not-so-subtly hiding behind her. She barely comes up to Suki’s chest, looking meek and intimidated in every way that Suki is not.</p><p>Suki appears to be locked in some sort of staring contest with Hakoda, and Zuko can easily guess what it’s about.</p><p>“We’re not sending her back there,” he says, pulling away from Sokka so that he can slam the gondola door shut.</p><p>He makes to head towards the lever so that they can send off the warden and be on their merry way, but Hakoda blocks him with a hand on his chest.</p><p>“Don’t touch me,” Zuko hisses, trying to step around him.</p><p>Hakoda just grabs Zuko’s bicep, tugging him back in place with a touch painfully opposite that of Sokka’s.</p><p>“No. We’re not risking...everything for some girl.”</p><p>He glances at Chit Sang with suspicion as he speaks, evasive in a way that just further pisses Zuko off.</p><p>“I’m sure the <em> Avatar </em>won’t be too happy if he finds out you killed a child.”</p><p>It’s stupid, and rash, but he trusts Chit Sang—the man did save his life, after all—and, more importantly, he needs Hakoda to <em> get his fucking hand off him. </em></p><p>Hakoda clenches his fist, nails digging into his skin. “She’ll be fine,” he says. “But when I’m done with you…”</p><p>He sneers; Zuko sneers back.</p><p>“Would you two cut it out?” Sokka snaps. “Dad, let go of him.”</p><p>Hakoda obliges, but only after one last sharp squeeze.</p><p>“Zuko, I don’t understand,” Suki says, still standing by the girl. “Why shouldn’t we send her back there to her parents?”</p><p>“Because, like she said before, her parents don’t work there, do they?” He says it like a statement—because it is, he’s seen servants before, this is a child just trying to survive, can’t they see that?—but directs the last part towards the girl, giving her a chance to defend herself.</p><p>Hesitantly, she shakes her head.</p><p>“Okay, well, maybe they can help her find them!” Sokka says brightly.</p><p>Zuko sighs. “You don’t get it. She let us onto the gondola. She let us escape. She—she let <em> me </em>escape. If anyone finds out…”</p><p>“She didn’t <em> let us </em>do anything!” Hakoda protests.</p><p>“That’s not how my father will see it.”</p><p>“So, what? You’re just going to run home and tell him?”</p><p>Zuko blinks. “I—seriously? How fucking stupid do you think I am?”</p><p>“Stupid enough to think you can convince us to take another <em> firebender </em>with us.”</p><p>That’s <em> it. </em>Zuko shoves Hakoda out of his way and stalks the rest of the way over to the lever. He sets the gondola back into motion, and when he releases the lever, he sees that he’s burnt his hand print into it.</p><p>“We’re getting out of here, and she’s coming with us. That’s <em> final.” </em></p><p>Over the blood raging in his ears, Zuko can make out the muffled sound of Sokka attempting to reason with his dad. “Come on,” he says. “If Zuko says she isn’t safe here, then I believe him.”</p><p>“She’s a child, Sokka! What could they possibly do to her?”</p><p>Zuko can’t stop the laugh that bubbles out of his mouth. It burns as it comes up his throat, wheezy and deranged and angry and just so, <em> so </em>tired.</p><p>“My father gave me <em> this,” </em> he says, hand and voice shaking as he gestures to the left side of his face, “for speaking out of turn. <em> She </em> just let the nation’s number-one traitor waltz out of prison with a bunch of <em> war criminals</em>. What do you fucking <em> think </em>will happen to her?”</p><p>The air stills. Suddenly, despite the boiling lake still sizzling beneath them, the air is freezing cold.</p><p>It’s the girl, surprisingly, who eventually breaks the silence. “You’re...you’re Prince Zuko?”</p><p>Her voice is timid, shaking almost as much as her tiny body. Zuko realizes now how it must have sounded: a bunch of angry adults yelling about her fate.</p><p>He slowly steps closer before folding himself in a sieza, palms upturned. He hopes his scar doesn’t ruin the whole non-threatening vibe he’s trying to give off.</p><p>“Just Zuko is fine,” he says softly. “What’s your name? It was rude of me not to ask.”</p><p>“Kiyi,” she says quietly.</p><p>Zuko nods. “That’s a beautiful name. Do you know where your parents are?”</p><p>She hesitates, eyeing him warily. </p><p>“I promise I’m not going to hurt them,” he says. “I just want to get you back home safely.”</p><p>If she notices the slight tremble in his voice, she doesn’t mention it.</p><p>“We live in Fire Fountain City. I—I just come here to work.”</p><p>Zuko nods. “Thank you for trusting me, Kiyi.”</p><p>He dips his head in a quick bow, hands curling into the mark of the flame. She mirrors it, though her tiny fingers have difficulty folding into the right shape.</p><p>Zuko stands, brushing the dust off his pants as he does. He tries to ignore the four sets of eyes now boring into him. “We should leave now.”</p><p>Suki is the first to recover. “Agreed,” she says. “Where’s our getaway balloon?”</p><p>“Uh, it’s kind of...at the bottom of the volcano?” Sokka says sheepishly.</p><p>Zuko groans; he’d forgotten about that particular detail. Then, something painfully obvious occurs to him: “My sister was here.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sokka replies. “And she’s probably right behind us, so let’s not stick around.”</p><p>“What I mean is she must have come here somehow,” Zuko explains. He walks towards the outer edge of the volcano, spotting a massive airship. “There!”</p><p>He gestures to the others, waving them closer. “That’s our way out of here.”</p><p>Chit Sang is the first to start the trek down to the airship. Zuko doesn’t blame him; he has no idea how long he’s been stuck at the Boiling Rock, but if Zuko is this desperate to leave after just a few days, he can only imagine how badly Chit Sang wants to go.</p><p>Hakoda follows him after a silent exchange with Sokka. It’s odd, but Zuko decides it’s in his best interest to stay out of it.</p><p>Suki is next, holding out a hand to Kiyi with a gentle smile. “Come on, you little rascal. Let’s get you home.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Sokka says, his hand finding Zuko’s again. “Let’s go home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>one more chapter to go! i‘m thinking of making this into a series with some smaller related stories, i already have a few ideas. if there’s any storylines you’d like to see, i’m very much open to suggestions!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“So…” Suki begins. “You and Sokka, huh?”</p><p>Zuko splutters, cheeks beginning to burn at Suki’s smirk. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>or: the end, but not really</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im glad everyone loves kiyi (i do too.) in order to give her and zuko’s story its due diligence (aka not tack it onto a plot that really isn’t related) i’m going to be writing it as a sort of sequel/follow-up to this fic, so stay tuned for more!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The flight back to the Western Air Temple is awkward, to say the least.</p><p>They had reached the outskirts of Fire Fountain City all too quickly; Kiyi hadn’t been kidding when she’d said the town was close. Chit Sang had volunteered to take her the rest of the way home, and swore to tell her parents to get the hell out of Dodge before the Warden came knocking.</p><p>(He was suspiciously gleeful about the prospect of seeing an “old friend” who lived nearby. What with the way he talked about wanting to “pay him a visit,” it probably wasn’t going to be a very amicable reunion.</p><p>Zuko just hopes Chit Sang manages to avoid getting himself arrested again.)</p><p>Now, without their additional passengers, Zuko is stuck with three of the people who were once his sworn enemies. (Well, two of them were; the jury is still out on Hakoda.)</p><p>Sokka and his father had disappeared after their pit stop, and the ship is large enough that Zuko, unfortunately, can’t eavesdrop. Judging by the glares the two had been sporting when they left, it’s likely they’re having more of an argument and less of a civil conversation.</p><p>(Zuko wishes the thought of Sokka alone with an angry father didn’t send a jolt of anxiety through him.)</p><p>He tries to distract himself by inspecting the various buttons and levers in the helm of the airship. Suki stands by the wheel, occasionally consulting the colorful maps hanging on the walls and redirecting their course accordingly.</p><p>“So…” Suki begins; she hasn’t had to steer in a while, and, like Zuko, is clearly bored out of her mind. “You and Sokka, huh?”</p><p>Zuko splutters, cheeks beginning to burn at Suki’s smirk. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“I don’t mind. I actually think you’re good for each other.”</p><p>“Um, thanks? I just…” Zuko sighs; is he really about to have this conversation with Sokka’s sort-of ex? “I don’t even know <em>what</em> we are.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Like, we, uh, kind of kissed a few times? But then he started calling me buddy, so maybe it was just an adrenaline thing?”</p><p>“That boy’s an idiot,” she says, rolling her eyes.</p><p>Then her expression softens. “Look, he may not have said it, but he really does care about you. You should’ve seen his face when you passed out by the cooler. It was...I’ve never seen him look that terrified.”</p><p>She pauses, then smiles and adds, “Not even when you burned down my village and tried to kill us all.”</p><p>“I wasn’t trying to kill anyone!” Zuko is very much aware of the squeak in his voice, and Suki starts to laugh.</p><p>Soon, Zuko finds himself joining in. “Agni,” he says, “I really was an asshole, wasn’t I?”</p><p>Suki nods. “A major dick.”</p><p>Zuko scrubs at his face, groaning. “How could Sokka <em> ever </em>like me after all of that?”</p><p>“You’re not a bad guy, Zuko. I’ve forgiven you, and Sokka definitely has. Hakoda will...come around eventually.”</p><p>Zuko snorts at that. “Are you kidding? He and Katara are going to start an official ‘We Hate Zuko’ club.”</p><p>“That girl can really hold a grudge.” Then Suki meets his gaze, and the teasing expression morphs into one that screams no nonsense. “I’m not kidding, though; Sokka seriously likes you. He <em> really </em>isn’t subtle.”</p><p>She must notice Zuko’s hesitation, because she adds, “Just talk to him about it, okay? Tell him how you feel.”</p><p>Zuko doesn’t have the heart to tell Suki that he doesn’t <em> do </em>feelings, especially not romantic ones. That meant vulnerability, and that’s a weakness that he knows from experience is far too easy to exploit.</p><p>So he just nods, and resigns himself to staring out the window for the remainder of the trip home.</p><p>(He wonders when <em> home </em>first became a place of warmth rather than blazing fire.)</p><hr/><p>They disembark the airship a few hours later, the sun low on the horizon. Zuko can feel its power dimming in his gut.</p><p>Katara, predictably, is pissed. “What the hell are you doing in this thing? And where in La’s name have you been?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Toph adds from where she stands at Katara’s left. “What kind of fishing trip <em> was </em>that?”</p><p>Unlike Katara, Toph simply looks amused.</p><p>Zuko and Sokka exchange a glance, </p><p>“We, uh, kind of went to a Fire Nation prison?” Sokka says it like a question, as if that will somehow stem his sister’s ire.</p><p>“You <em> what</em>?” Her shock quickly morphs to anger as she turns to Zuko. “I don’t know what sort of game you think you’re playing by locking up my brother, but—“</p><p>“Can it, Sugar Queen,” Toph interrupts. “If he was going to turn in Sokka, why the hell would they both be here right now?”</p><p>Katara frowns, floundering for an answer. Aang, hovering at her other side, takes this as his cue to interject.</p><p>“So you <em> didn’t </em>go on a fishing trip? Are we all going vegetarian now?”</p><p>Sokka scoffs. “In your dreams.”</p><p>Aang begins to pout, and Zuko decides this is one conversation he does <em> not </em>want to involve himself in.</p><p>“But that means we’re out of meat,” Toph groans.</p><p>Sokka, self-proclaimed meat lover extraordinaire, just smiles. “Actually, we got the best meat of all. The meat of friendship and fatherhood.”</p><p>Katara and Aang let out identical gasps as the airship’s remaining passengers walk down the gangplank.</p><p>“That was our cue, right?” Suki asks drily.</p><p>“Yes, and it was <em> awesome</em>!” Sokka <em> whoops </em>and punches a fist into the air for emphasis.</p><p>Katara is quick to sprint past him, barreling into Hakoda’s chest and wrapping her arms around him. “I missed you so much!”</p><p>Hakoda smiles, returning the hug. “I missed you too.”</p><p>“Hey, does someone wanna tell me what’s going on? I’m blind, remember?” Toph waves her hand in front of her clouded eyes.</p><p>“Er, right,” Aang says, fidgeting. “Katara’s dad is here. So is Suki—she’s a Kyoshi warrior.”</p><p>“Hey, he’s my dad too!” Sokka protests, scurrying over to join in the embrace as if to prove his point.</p><p>“Cool,” Toph replies. “I’m Toph. And I have no idea what a Kyoshi warrior is, but if it means another girl who <em> isn’t </em>a drama queen, I’m all for it.”</p><p>Suki laughs. “I like her.”</p><p>Toph grins. “As you should.”</p><p>The reunion party soon migrates to the campfire, which Aang proudly proclaims he lit. Katara, whom anyone with (or without) functioning eyes can see is nauseatingly infatuated with him, doesn’t even validate him; instead, she focuses on filling a bowl with stew for Hakoda. She uses her bending to scoop it out of the pot, earning a compliment from her father.</p><p>It’s strange, and Zuko makes sure to sit as far away from Hakoda as possible.</p><p>He is, as usual, the last to be served, and Katara scowls at him as she dumps the chunky remnants of the meal into his bowl.</p><p>He thanks her, as he does every time. Katara huffs. It’s a familiar song and dance.</p><p>Even though his food is slightly burnt, it still tastes fantastic to his empty stomach. He realizes he hasn’t eaten since dinner the night before, and forces himself to slow down lest he give his stomach another reason to rebel against him. (The first reason is his ever-present nerves, which are only worsened by Hakoda’s presence and Sokka’s lingering stare.)</p><p>“This is <em> way </em>better than cabbage soup,” Suki jokes, nudging Zuko with her elbow.</p><p>He feels the tightness in his chest loosen slightly. “Yeah, tell me about it.”</p><p>For some reason, Suki’s mention of cabbage soup suddenly becomes the most interesting thing in the world. Aang is particularly excited—<em>maybe this is why all the vegetarian benders were the ones that got wiped out, </em>Zuko thinks before he can stop himself—and begins to overwhelm Suki with questions. The story about Cabbage Night (which Zuko was hoping to repress, thank you very much) soon becomes a dramatic retelling of their time at Boiling Rock.</p><p>Most of the theatrics come from Sokka, who has an affinity for sound effects and frankly terrible impersonations. Zuko isn’t exactly keen on reliving his past few days of misery, and Hakoda, though his arms remain wrapped around his children, is <em> still </em>eyeing him, so he decides to excuse himself to his room.</p><p>“Goodnight, Zuko!” Aang says brightly, oblivious to the tension in the air.</p><p>He not-so-subtly regrets his words when Zuko says that he’ll see him in the morning for sunrise meditation.</p><p>“Ha,” Toph says, punching Aang, who has started to pout.</p><p>Zuko uses the inevitable earthbending battle that’s about to occur as cover to slip away, slinking into the shadows and heading to the far end of the temple.</p><p>Most of Team Avatar tends to sleep close together around the campfire, but once they’d stuck him inside this secluded room—probably in fear for their safety—he hadn’t really seen a reason to leave. The mattress is comfortable enough, and while the lack of a door still unnerves him, he really doesn’t mind keeping his distance.</p><p>But tonight, the quiet—usually more than welcome after spending the day around loud-mouthed children—feels...lonely. Zuko sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He calls a small flame to his hand, curling it around his fingers and tossing it back and forth between his palms.</p><p>The light is mesmerizing; the hints of pink and green and purple swirling in the flames bring a swell of pride to his chest, because for once, <em> he </em>made something beautiful.</p><p>“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you doing that.”</p><p>Zuko startles, his fire rising momentarily before extinguishing at the sight of Sokka leaning in what <em> should </em>be a doorway.</p><p>“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Mind if I come in?”</p><p>“Would you listen if I said no?”</p><p>Sokka brings his hand to his chin, scrunching his eyebrows as though deep in thought. “Probably not.”</p><p>Zuko sighs, sliding over to make room on the bed. When Sokka sits beside him, their thighs nearly touching, Zuko is hit with the memory of the <em> last </em>time they’d been on a bed together.</p><p>(<em>Lips, hands, “just focus on your father”) </em></p><p>“How’s your dad?”</p><p>“Huh?” Sokka seems caught off guard by Zuko’s question which, in his opinion, is an incredibly reasonable thing to ask. “Oh, he’s, uh...he’s good. Katara’s still giving him a run-down of every second of our lives since the eclipse.”</p><p>Zuko winces at the super helpful reminder that, even if he <em> had </em>helped break Hakoda out of prison, it was still his fault he was locked up in the first place.</p><p>“Anyways,” Sokka continues, “that’s not really what I wanted to talk about.”</p><p>Zuko nods, fiddling with his hands. He coaxes a small flame back to life, watching it flicker in time with his breaths.</p><p>“I actually wanted to talk about...us.”</p><p>Zuko’s freezes, the fire in his palm nearly going out. “What about us?” he chokes out.</p><p>“We kissed.”</p><p>Zuko nods.</p><p>“Multiple times.”</p><p>Zuko nods again.</p><p>“So then…” Sokka trails off.</p><p>“It doesn’t have to mean anything. Don’t feel like you owe me something.” The flames in his hand flicker away; he doesn’t bother reigniting them.</p><p>“Is that what you want?” Sokka asks.</p><p>Zuko knows he should lie. He knows that Sokka deserves better, and he knows that Hakoda would never approve (let alone Ozai). </p><p>But Zuko is selfish. He always has been.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>And then he’s kissing Sokka like he’s drowning, like Sokka is the air in his lungs and the anchor keeping him from evaporating into nothingness. He tries to commit the feeling of Sokka’s lips to memory, a bittersweet souvenir to take with him once he’s booted out of the group for good.</p><p>But Sokka...Sokka’s kissing him back. His lips are urgent, hands tugging Zuko impossibly closer by the hem of his shirt.</p><p>“Good,” Sokka says when he breaks away to catch his breath. His forehead is pressed against Zuko’s, warm breath ghosting over his face. “Because I don’t either.”</p><p>He kisses him again, his lips featherlight as he presses them to his nose, his brow, his scarred cheekbone.</p><p>“I like you, Zuko,” he says. “I like you a lot.”</p><p>Zuko flushes. “I-I like you too.”</p><p>Sokka pulls back from where he’s started trailing kisses along Zuko’s neck, cupping his unmarred cheek and guiding Zuko’s eyes to meet his.</p><p>“I’m serious,” he says. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”</p><p>Zuko’s heart feels just about ready to beat right out of his chest. He can’t remember the last time anyone—Mai included—said anything even relatively civil about his appearance.</p><p>He isn’t quite sure how to respond—isn’t quite sure, in all honesty, that he can form words right now without crying—so he just presses his lips to Sokka, who melts into the kiss with a sigh.</p><p>It feels right. It feels warm, even warmer than his inner fire.</p><p>It feels—though he thought he’d forgotten the emotion, the sensation, long, long ago—like finally coming home.</p><p>And he never wants to leave.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>im awful at endings im so sorry. fear not though, there’s more to come!! pls feel free to drop any ideas/requests for future installments in the comments</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed, &amp; stay safe!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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